


A bit of sparing, perhaps?

by Zukkashipper



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Bisexual Sokka (Avatar), During Canon, Fluff, Gay Zuko (Avatar), Happy Ending, Katara is the best sister ever, M/M, Oblivious Sokka (Avatar), Oblivious Zuko (Avatar), Original Character(s), Past Sokka/Suki (Avatar), Past Sokka/Yue (Avatar), Slow Burn, Sokka has depth and doubts, Swordbending, Swordfighting, Swords, Swords; the ultimate gay weapon, Toph Beifong Being Awesome, Western Air Temple, unless
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-15 06:54:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 30,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28684404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zukkashipper/pseuds/Zukkashipper
Summary: “Hey, all I want is to defeat the Fire Lord, if you think this is the way to do it, then I’m all for it.”Zuko. The boy who had been following them in order to ‘restore his honor’ for the past months now turned good. Sokka didn’t quite believe it yet, even if Top had confirmed that his speech was sincere.
Relationships: Aang/Katara (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 21
Kudos: 91





	1. Welcome to the group

“Hey, all I want is to defeat the Fire Lord, if you think this is the way to do it, then I’m all for it.”

“Katara?” Aang called out.

Katara hesitated, “I’ll go along with whatever you think is right.” she finally said, turning up to Aang. 

They went on with what they had to do for the rest of the day. Katara and Aang had some things to prepare and Toph could barely do anything since... well since Zuko burnt her the previous night.

Zuko. the boy who had been following them in order to ‘restore his honor’ for the past months now turned good. Sokka didn’t quite believe it yet, even if Toph had confirmed that his speech was sincere.

“Sokka do you mind showing Zuko where he’ll be staying?” Katara frowned.

“What? Why me?” Sokka replied.

“Because we’re kinda all busy, and oh! Look at that! You’re the only one not doing anything.” She answered back.

“Hey that’s not true! I’m gonna assist Toph! Y’know since she can’t see and all?” he protested.

“Very kind of yours but I’m okay. Really I’m just gonna stay here and wait.” Toph said.

“See? Now go, it’ll take just a minute. You don’t have to make buddy buddy with him.” Katara said, Aang insisting with his looks.

“Ugh fine.” He sighed. 

He went to join Zuko who had now just come back from his own camp with his stuff. Sokka made a gesture for Zuko to follow him and he did. The walk to his room was kind of awkward, he didn’t know what to say. What are you even supposed to talk about? 

“So, here you go, home sweet home, I guess, you know, for now.”  _ spirits Sokka take control of yourself _ , “Unpack? Lunch, soon?”  _ not much better _ , “Uhhh... welcome aboard?”  _ way to make a fool out of yourself Sokka, congrats.  _ He struggled with his words. Why did he feel so... incapable all of the sudden? It’s not like Zuko was menacing, nothing like that at all. 

Zuko gave him a smile, to his surprise. He didn’t even think this guy could feel anything but anger. “Yeah.” he exclaimed before leaving Zuko alone and meet Aang.

“Okay, this is really, really weird.” 

“Maybe, but you’ll get used to it I’m sure, we all have to if we want me to master firebending in order to defeat Ozai.”

“Yeah yeah I know, I know.” Sokka shrugged.

But he wasn’t talking about that. Of course, Zuko joining their group was something strange but he thought more of his loss of words. His mind went away and he could barely use his mouth in order to articulate real words. 

Katara called for lunch, as usual they had rice. Sokka missed meat and as weird as it was to say, he kinda missed veggies too. He wondered what Zuko ate while he camped alone the previous night. He quickly brushed the thought away, why did he care what Zuko ate? He sat down besides Toph and Zuko went in and sat in between him and Teo. Sokka’s belly felt weird for an instant, but he covered up the thought once again and blamed it on being hungry.

“So where do we start?” Aang said with enthusiasm, looking at Zuko.

“Well we can’t start firebending today, I’ll teach you some forms and exercises you can do in order to learn faster.” Zuko answered.

“Wait a minute twinkle toes you still got your earthbeding practice that we didn’t get time to finish yesterday.” Toph intervened.

“But your feet are still burnt how are you going to teach me stuff?” Aang complained.

“You don’t need me, I’ll just be there. You and Haru could do some tricks together.” 

“I’m sure he would’ve had no problem practicing earthbending with Toph if it wasn’t for mister Zuko’s need to burn everything that moved.” Katara said, her eyes piercing right through Zuko who looked guilty.

He took a breath and as he was about to pronounce a word, Toph spoke up, “Katara it’s no big deal, maybe I can barely see for now but it was an accident. I already said that I forgave Zuko.” 

Katara didn’t reply, instead she left the room, leaving her bowl of barely touched rice.

“Katara!” Aang shouted, “I’m gonna go after her. I’ll meet you and Haru at the usual spot.” and he left to chase after her.

They continued eating in awkward silence, and somewhat Sokka felt bad. He wasn’t responsible for Katara’s behaviour, and he understood why she was hurt, but he couldn’t help to feel sorry for Zuko. He turned to his direction but he was gone, Sokka hadn’t even noticed. He finished his bowl of rice and blamed his leave on wanting to practice swords alone. 

Well it was a lie. He went to where Zuko’s bedroom was and before appearing in the door frame, he stopped himself. Why was he doing this exactly? What was his point? And what was he achieving by standing in front of Zuko’s roo- 

“Need anything?” the firebender ripped him off his thoughts

“W-what?” Sokka blinked, trying to catch on reality.

“You’re... standing there. In front of my room.” Zuko reminded him, his arms crossed on his chest, him laying on his bed waiting for an answer.

“Oh um- yes can I come in?” 

Zuko nodded and Sokka stepped in the room. he felt timid in a way. Zuko’s eyes laying on him didn’t make it easier for him to hide his cheeks from turning into a bright pink. 

“So?” Zuko asked.

“So! Yeah I-“  _ take a deep breath dumbass _ , “I’m sorry about Katara.” 

Zuko raised an eyebrow, somewhat intrigued in the words Sokka had let out of his mouth.

“I mean I understand why she’s acting like this and all since y’know you betrayed her and all but I mean I’m sorry for the way she’s acting and she probably doesn’t really mean all of what she says.” Sokka was now out of breath, like saying all this to Zuko had made him use all his energy.

“It’s okay.” Zuko replied. 

_ A man of few words I see.  _

Sokka nodded and turned around to leave the room. As he was at the door, he heard Zuko say his name, followed by a small ‘thank you’. 

* * *

“Open your legs a little! Don’t be so stiff!” 

“I’m trying! But this is harder than it looks.” 

Sokka was somewhat mesmerized at the view of Zuko teaching Aang. It was basics, really. “No firebending today.” Zuko had insisted, “You must learn to have a great posture and breath if you want to be able to control your fire.” But Sokka still felt incredibly hot.

“You okay there buddy?” Aang ripped Sokka out of his thoughts, who were going a little too far for his liking anyways.

Zuko stood there, his hands on his hips and his eyebrow a little frowned. 

“uh, yeah yeah I’m fine! I’m just gonna go... practice swords.” Sokka stuttered and left the training area. 

Before leaving he noticed Zuko’s eyebrow twitch a little. He decided to ignore it and go to the space he had himself dedicated for sword practice. 

He started sparing in the wind, aiming at nothing but his imaginary enemy striking right at him. He just needed to get a better stance, and then he knew for sure that he’d be invincible, okay maybe that was a big word, maybe then he’d be  better .

He sighed. Maybe if he had knew that before then he wouldn’t have made his plan during the invasion fail. Maybe he wouldn’t have disappointed his dad.

Dad . He thought of him. Where was he? Was he okay, held captive without any food or water or even worse could he be-

“Sokka?” 

He turned around to see Katara standing there, her hands on her chest. She was staring at him for a while now, he thought. Did she see the small tear slipping from his eye and dropping silently on his cheek?

“Are you okay?” she continued. Her looks grew worried as she walked over to Sokka who was trying to regain himself.

“Yeah yeah I’m fine, it’s alright.” He tried to give her a smile, but he guessed by the look on her face that she didn’t believe a word her said, “Katara I am fine, I swear.” 

She sighed, it’s not like she was going to be able to make him talk, it’s Sokka. He barely talked about those things to anyone. He’d overthink it and give up before even starting the discussion.

“Fine. If there’s anything, I’m here to talk okay?” she said, dropping her hand on Sokka’s shoulder, her thumb stroking the blue fabric of his shirt. 

He gave her a faint smile, he tried his best really, “So why did you come here exactly?” He bothered asking.

“I was about to go look for Aang, we have some waterbending to practice still and I just found you here so.” Katara answered.

So Zuko would be free in any minutes now.  Spirits, did he really just think about spending time with Zuko? What was taking over him?

“Oh okay.” He whispered, “Well he’s probably waiting for you and considering of what I saw about the firebending exercises, he must be in pain right now.” Sokka teased.

“Zuko better not have hurt him or else.” she frowned. Oh yeah right,  it’s like he had forgotten that Katara hates Zuko’s guts. She was the only one who still had a grudge against him, and he felt guilty of not being able to stay mad at Zuko too, you know, siblings solidarity and all.

Now that Katara was probably with Aang for a while now, he wondered if Zuko and stayed, or if he went back to his room. The second option seemed a little more realistic to the situation, Katara wouldn’t necessarily like Zuko lurking on their lesson. ‘What? Are you gonna save that information for your sister maybe? So she has a way to bring me down.’ he could hear Katara spit these words out of her mouth.

_Ouch_.  But at the same time, what was guaranteeing Sokka that Zuko was a hundred percent good? He had trusted him so easily -well technically not really trusted just yet- without much doubts. But why? It’s not like Zuko had done something so dangerous and out of mind for him, he hadn’t  done  anything for him even. 

Well there was that smile. 

He had never thought only a stupid smile could make his head spin like that. Yet there he was, for some reason, replaying the moment over and over again. He had never seen Zuko smile before. Well at least not genuinely, and not directed at  him  and only for  _ him  _ to see. Tui and La what was he even thinking about right now? It’s not like Zuko, out of all people in the entire  _ world  _ could make him feel like that, could he? He didn’t even know anymore. Zuko had joined their group only a few hours earlier and here he was, already making Sokka have a crisis. 

He sighed and pushed the thoughts away, or at least tried to, this damn prince was taking all the space in his brain. 

“Hey.” He heard behind him as he picked up his sword that he had unconsciously dropped on the ground. He turned around to see no one else other than Zuko, standing there with his sword on his back. 

“Hey um, how’s it going?”  _ that was too enthusiastic Sokka you’re embarrassing yourself. _

“Good. Are you still, you know, practicing swords?” There was something in his voice that felt timid, tiny in a way.

“Uh I mean I was planning to stop for today but like if you wanna spare with me maybe?”  _ you’re acting like a fool. _

“Are you sure? I mean we could do it another time if you want.” 

“No!”  _was that too loud_? Zuko’s face marked a small question mark, Sokka picked up on it, “I mean, not that I don’t want to practice with you another time, I mean we’re here now and all ready so we can spar now if you want to?” The words were out of his mouth as if his life was about to end if he didn’t stop talking.

Zuko nodded and walked over to Sokka. He followed him by the eyes and watched him get ready for the sparring session. He removed his scabbard that had his sword in it, and Sokka couldn’t stop watching, not a word dropping from his mouth. He watched Zuko take away the sword from the leather pocket and his eyes widened when he realized that it wasn’t just  a  sword, it was  _ two  _ swords. They were pretty, the probably freshly sharpened blades made the beams of the sun dance on their reflection. Zuko let out a small snort at the view of Sokka’s eyes, still as big as two gold pieces.

“They’re Dao swords.” said Zuko.

Sokka wondered where Zuko got the time to learn how to use them. Dao swords were hard to master because you didn’t only have one, but two blades to control in order to not rip your own head off while using them.

“So, do you know how to do this?” Sokka teased.

“Of course I do. Ready?” 

“Set.”

“Match.” And they rushed at each other.

Sokka was branding his sword in the air, just trying to avoid Zuko’s counterattack. Then he came back rushing again, but Zuko was agile. He knew how to move and manipulate his swords, using them as his own arms. Sokka was quickly disarmed, Zuko pointing one of his sword at him. He gave Sokka a small smile and Sokka can just hear the ‘not bad’ in them. He goes to pick up his sword and Zuko notices.

“Firmer grip.” Zuko said, his voice a little rough.

“Like this?” Sokka demonstrated, apparently it wasn’t like this because next thing he knew, Zuko was standing very close to him, a little of his weight dropping on Sokka’s back, and his pale hands on Sokka’s showing him a tighter grip. His stomach turned upside down and he felt his entire face flush. He felt his hands becoming hotter and hotter, burning himself. What was Zuko doing? Was this some sort of  _ game _ to him? Well no, he didn’t know Sokka’s - _ non existent _ \- feelings.

“Like this.” Zuko released. His voice caressed the inside of Sokka’s ears.

It took a minute for him to come back to reality, Zuko had an amused look on his face.

“Where did you learn this?” He tried his best not to stutter, but his voice was fragile.

“Master Piandao.” Zuko replied non chaland, “Why?”

“You trained with Piandao too!?” Sokka exclaimed.

“Well yea that’s where I learned how to use them.” Zuko pointed at his swords.

“That’s where I learned to use a sword in general, and where Space sword was created.” 

“Space sword?” Zuko asked, his eyebrow a little raised.

“Yeah! I built it with some sort of meteorite that had crashed near us.” Sokka smiled, very very bright and Zuko let out a small laugh.  _ Why must he be so adorable when he does that? The little wrinkles his nose would make, or how he tried to cover his mouth.  _ _Stop thinking about it!!_

“That’s cool.” Zuko smiled.  _ Argh _ , Sokka could feel his heart tighten in his chest.

“And I doubt you made these.” Sokka pointed at the Dao.

Zuko snorted,  _ cute _ , “You’re right, I...” he paused, like he tried not to trip in his words, “I got them done I guess.”

“Oh okay, that’s cool. When did you start learning?” With the way he moved, it was highly probable that he had started at a young age, probably because he was a royal.

“When I was six. I wanted something special to do.” Zuko replied.

“But you’re already a firebender, isn’t that special enough?” 

Zuko looked away at those words, then back at Sokka, “It would be, if I had been talented back then.”

“But you were six-“

Zuko interrupted him, as if he  _ knew  _ that what Sokka was about to say was maybe a little too much, “It doesn’t matter. Now I’m good at it, and at swords.”

“Talk about a talented guy.” Sokka threw these words and then immediately thought back.  _ What the fuck _ ? Did he just... compliment Zuko? Lucky him Zuko didn’t say anything else to add to that awkward moment, he just offered a smile.

“It looks like you could use some practice here and there.” Zuko said.

“Yeah I guess I do...” Sokka sheepishly said.

“It’s no big deal, I could show you some tricks.” 

“Like right now?” 

Zuko blushed, “If you want! Only if you want of course.” 

“I’d love to.” 


	2. Mind a spar?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sokka gets into an argument with Katara.

Zuko showed some tricks that he had learned with Piandao back in the days, where his dad showed a least a bit of interest in what his son could bring him, it wasn’t like that anymore. 

They finished training -and some sparing too- about a hour later. Sokka said he was tired and that his muscles were aching and Zuko rolled his eyes, saying that ‘he’d never master the sword if he stops after barely any practice’. The sun was still up, so they probably had enough time to do something else now. Anything other than sparing with Zuko.

Not only the teenager was extremely good, avoiding almost every hit Sokka would throw, he was also very agile and light on his feet. And the way his whole body moved, or when he had Sokka pinned against the ground, one of his Dao sword pointed at his face, that made Sokka’s entire body flush. He hoped Zuko wouldn’t notice his embarrassment when he picked him off the floor and put him back on his feet, their faces being only a few inches apart for barely a second or two. He didn’t know if it was him or the firebender who made the contact of their hand so  hot, physically. But anyway, each time that would happen, Zuko would simply barely react or just ignore it, as if nothing was happening. 

“So.” Sokka started, “Well that was nice.”

“Yea, it was.” Zuko responded.

“Thank you for showing me all this really it’s very sweet.” Sokka _blushed_ _ , as if he didn’t mean to say that._

“You’re welcome. And sorry for what I said earlier, you’re getting better at this by the minute.”

Well now it was just compliment over compliment. Fantastic.  
“Thank you.” Sokka said finally. He stared at Zuko for a second, zoning into his amber eyes. Those who he felt like they could talk on their own, but before he could try to penetrate their memory Zuko looked away. Sokka nodded to himself and headed for the hallway. 

“Where are you going?” Zuko asked, the echo of his voice in the large room bouncing on the walls.

“There’s a river not far from here, I’m just gonna go clean.” He answered. He noticed the look on Zuko’s face. It was like he was trying to say something, but something was forcing him to keep his mouth shut. Maybe if he asked Zuko- “Wanna join me?”

“It’s alright.” Zuko gently refused.

Sokka let out a ‘Okay.’ and he was now walking toward the river.

* * *

Sokka jumped in the cold water, letting out a swear as the feeling of stings went in contact with his skin. Once he felt more comfortable, he let out a sigh and started washing up. He couldn’t get his mind off Zuko, for whatever the reason was. 

Why was he so kind all of the sudden? As if he had never betrayed Katara back in Ba Sing Se and let his crazy lightning shooting sister almost kill Aang. Now he was somewhat good? And worst of all, Sokka believed him? And why that? Why would he ever believe a guy like  Zuko ? Someone that had chased them all around the world only to capture Aang in order to bring him back to his father. Lucky them they never  actually  got captured, or at least not for long. But now he was good, and Sokka believed him. 

He believe in Zuko’s intentions, but he just hoped that it wasn’t going to turn against him anytime soon. 

He rinsed himself with the water, it was dark out now, so Katara was probably going to call for diner. He’d better hurry if he didn’t want to alarm anyone. Sokka dried up and got dressed, his hair were still wet so he decided to let them down for them to dry quicker. He was probably gonna go to bed after that anyways, so no need to get all dressed up for no reason. 

He arrived back to the camp and he had guessed right, Katara was just now calling Sokka for the second time when he appeared in the room. 

“Do you mind telling me where you were?” She said her voice a little infuriated. 

Sokka took a bowl of rice, no meat as usual these days, “Calm down I was just getting cleaned up.” he said, “what are you mad about anyways?” 

“Nothing.” she frowned, the circle was silent, only the fire in the center of the room was making a small creaking sound.

Sokka shrugged and went to sit down beside Toph and Zuko, “So what’s the plan for tomorrow?” 

“Well I still need to practice some earthbending, this time Toph will be able to help though. And also waterbending, Katara said she’d teach me these cool thing you can make it’s like water tentacles!” Aang exclaimed, Katara smiled at the mention of the water tentacles.

“And I think you’re ready for some actual firebending.” said Zuko.

Katara frowned again, “As long as you don’t burn him.” she mumbled.

It went silent again. Sokka felt the awkwardness gulp down the room and looked over at Zuko who’s faint smile had vanished. He was now blandly staring into his bowl.

“I’m sorry.” he said, standing up, “Thank you for diner, it’s appreciated.” Zuko’s let his bowl down and exited the room.

“Katara what is wrong with you?” Sokka shouted, “Can’t you see that he’s  trying ?” 

“What’s wrong with me uh? Well maybe the fact that I still can’t trust him! And neither of you can! Yet you still do, as if he somewhat proved that he’s someone who can really be trusted. I’m sorry I don’t believe him.” she answered, throwing knifes by the look in her eyes.

“Maybe you should move on then! He all hurt us! Remember how he chased us around the world,  all of us ?” Sokka pointed at Aang.

“Maybe he chased us all Sokka, but you weren’t the one who got their necklace stolen from  him or when I got betrayed back in Ba Sing Se! He had said that he changed too, back then and yet look where this got us! Aang almost-“ she cut herself off, her cheeks drowned into her tears. 

And it was silent again. 

Sokka nodded and left the room meanwhile Aang comforted Katara. He felt incredibly  bad,  he didn’t really mean all he said. But his heartbeat sank into his ears and that’s all he could hear. He closed his eyes, and put his palm over his ears, pressing against his head in order to make it stop. Tears came fast, and they flowed Sokka’s cold face. It was the only thing right now that felt warm. He let himself slide down the wall and sat down, bringing his knees to his chin and then, he started breathing again.

_Dad_ . How could he have let him down? All of them? They were now in prison because of  him . because of his stupid plan to take over the fire nation on  that  day. Now it was too late, he  failed.  And everyone probably hated him for it. He wasn’t mad about it. He understood.

It was now cold and very very dark. Sokka could barely see anything, he moved too far away from the group and so the fire, where everything was warm. He didn’t want to go back now, he couldn’t face the silence and judgement of everyone, even less Katara.  _Idiot, what did you thought __?_

Well now he didn’t know where to go. He didn’t have a bedroom, he slept with the others in case there was an emergency. But someone had a room. Could he even go there? Sure, he was friends with Zuko, or at least they didn’t  hate  each other, but could he really go in there and ask to sleep? No, it would be silly. Zuko would probably laugh at his face and he’d be humiliated.

Well then it was the floor. He already made himself comfortable anyways, and it wasn’t  that  cold. He just had to lay down, close his eyes and he’d be warm. Thrilling. He was about to do just that when a hand dropped on his shoulder. He looked up, oh of course, _Zuko_.

“Hey there.” Sokka said, a timid smile made his way to his face.

“Hello. Were you about to sleep... here?” Zuko pointed at the ground.

“Me? No, not at all actually I was going to meditate. Aang says it’s good to meditate from time to time y’know.”

Zuko rolled his eyes, his hand was still on Sokka’s shoulder, “You’ll freeze to death meditating over here. Just follow me.” Zuko pointed toward his room with his chin.

“Fine.” Sokka grumbled. Zuko gave him a hand Sokka took it in order to get up.

They walked in silence. Even if the road to his room wasn’t so long, Sokka felt like it took about fifteen minutes to itself. It wasn’t awkward however, Sokka just followed Zuko, sometimes he glared at the boy. He admired how he was shaped, how the moonlight caressed his face, giving it a sort of glow.

They arrived in his room, and now it was awkward. 

“You can get the bed.” Zuko said.

“And where are you going to sleep?” Sokka questioned.

Zuko raised an eyebrow as if Sokka had just asked the dumbest question of his life, “On the floor?” 

“There’s no way you sleep on the floor, it’s cold!” Sokka exclaimed.

“I can heat myself up with my firebending I’m alright.” 

“Nuh uh, we are sharing the bed.” 

Zuko’s eyes widened, “Are you sure?” 

“Well it’s that, or I sleep on the floor since im the guest here.” Sokka pointed at his chest with his thumb.

“Fine.” Zuko sighed.

They got in bed, each on their side. It was still quite small however, so their backs brushed against each other. “Goodnight.” Sokka said. He closed his eyes, hoping that no one would see them in the same bed the next morning. He tried to wipe off what happened this evening from his mind, but with no success. If it hurt him, then how bad did it hurt Katara? He felt the guilt take over himself, his whole body stiffened, and he  hoped  that Zuko didn’t notice-

“Sokka?”  _Well fuck_ ,  “Are you okay?” 

“Y-yeah I’m doing all right, what’s poppin?”  _What the hell Sokka?_

Zuko -thank spirits- ignored the last part, “Uh... Well I wanted to thank you.” he said, his voice was shaking a little, Sokka brushed it off.

He turned around to meet Zuko who was now sitting besides him, so Sokka sat up too, “Thanking me? For what?” Sokka tried to look at Zuko, but Zuko was staring down.

“Saying that I’m trying my best.” He smiled a bit.

“So you heard.” Sokka said, and he felt his cheeks turn red.

“Yea. Will you be okay with your sister?” Zuko asked.

Well Sokka just  hoped  they’d be alright. He couldn’t afford to make another member of his family hate him, “We’ll be fine, thanks for worrying.” Sokka nodded and went back to laying down. Zuko laid down too.

Sokka just tried to go back to sleep when Zuko spoke again, this time it wasn’t really a question.

“You know, I kind of envy you Sokka.” he admitted.  
”You envy  me ? Why? I’m just a peasant water tribe guy, I barely have anything.” Sokka said back.

“That’s not true. You have everything.” said Zuko. They weren’t facing each other, but Sokka could feel Zuko’s body shiver a little.  Was he cold?  “You have a family that loves you.”

“That’s not true. I disappointed my dad, he probably hates me now.” Sokka replied. Zuko didn’t say anything, he probably didn’t know, “The day of the black sun. It was my idea to invade the fire nation, and it was  my  fault we didn’t retreat. Now everyone is in prison and my dad probably hates my guts.”

“I’m sure he doesn’t.” 

“And what do you know?” Sokka said a little loud.

“You’re right I don’t know. But I’m sure it wasn’t your fault. You’re brave Sokka, trust me I know it since the day we met and you hit me with that boomerang of yours. You didn’t give up, you wanted to protect and you did. Your dad is proud of you if anything.” Zuko sighed.

Sokka was silent. His heart was pumping  loud  into his chest and he felt like crying.  But no, not with Zuko just behind him .

“You know, the day of the black sun, I stood up to my father.” Zuko continued.

“Well it surely went well if you’re here in one piece.” Sokka joked, and Zuko chuckled.

“It was the first time since I got banished that I stood up to him like that.”

“ _Oh_.” Sokka let out.

“But  this time, he somewhat listened. I said what I had to say, and I realized at this moment that my own father didn’t even  care  about me. He never did, and he never will. It took me a long time to realize it, and I betrayed the people close to me only to please him, and now-“

“Your uncle?” Sokka said, noticing that Zuko had stopped for an instant.

“Yea. I betrayed him back in Ba Sing Se too, and I could never forgive myself for it. He hasn’t always been good you know, but he redeemed himself and I plan to learn from him.” Zuko finished.

“I’m glad that you didn’t turn out to be like your father.” Sokka said.

Zuko sighed, ”Me too. But I got a sister who’s just like him.” 

“The one that shoots lightning?” he asked.

“Yea. I wish we hadn’t grown apart, I was happy at first when I learned that I was going to have a little sibling. I was only two, but my mo-“ Zuko stopped, “People kept telling me how much I was excited.” 

“I was only one when Katara was born, so I don’t remember much of that. But I do remember how it was before my dad left. We were inseparable, we still are, but back then we were like glued to each other. Even when we fought, we always cared for each other at the end of the day. I guess that’s just how-“ Sokka stopped, almost tripping over his words, “Yeah.” 

“That’s how siblings are.” Zuko finished the sentence for him.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean-“ Sokka tried to save, but Zuko interrupted him.

“It’s alright. Me and Azula were close at first, but then the more she grew the more she was just like my father. I don’t blame her for it though, I just wish it would’ve turned differently.” he sighed.

Sokka let out a deep breath, “Thank you.”

“Of course.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> was that a short chapter? it felt like a short chapter i’m sorry the next ones are way longer i promise 


	3. Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sokka has a nightmare

Sokka woke up with a small headache. He wasn’t familiar with where he had woken up, rapidly he sat up and recognized the place. He was still in Zuko’s room, and the light coming from the window wasn’t helping much with his growing pain. He growled and noticed that the firebender had left. It was probably already late, Sokka thought, so he stripped himself out of bed and headed for the common space. 

He had to face Katara now, and everyone else. _Perfect_ , just _perfect_. He entered the room where Aang, Toph and Zuko were sitting. 

“Good morning everyone! Has anyone seen Katara?” Sokka asked as he stepped closer to the gang.

Zuko gave him a short look, but quickly his gaze went back to his bowl of rice.

“She went with Haru and Teo who wanted to show her something.” Toph answered.

“Oh okay well, mind if I sit down?” Sokka pointed at the empty spot between Toph and Aang, who nodded. He sat down.

“You slept for a while snoozles, I was afraid you ran away.” said Toph.

“Really? I feel like it’s still pretty early.” Sokka said, rubbing his forehead.

“Well it’s around lunch time.” Aang dropped, “By the way where did you sleep last night? We didn’t see you at all after what happened.” 

Sokka almost choked with his saliva before his eyes met Zuko’s, “I built my own tent.”

“Seriously?” Toph said, “ That’s the best lie you can come up with?”

Zuko and Aang giggled to Sokka’s expression going completely  bummed .

“Anyways Aang we better get the firebending training going, we haven’t even started making fire yet.”said Zuko.

“Great!” Aang exclaimed as they both got up and headed for the firebending training spot. 

Now it was only Toph and Sokka and his bowl of rice. 

“So where were you last night? I didn’t see you come back here and you weren’t so  close  either, so tell me the truth.” Toph said.

“I went  nowhere .” Sokka answered, a little too much pride in his voice before he remembered that she could sense the truth.  Well shit , what was he even supposed to say now? “Fine, I’ll tell you. But you gotta promise to-“

“TOPH!” Sokka got interrupted, _lucky him_ , by The Duke coming at them rushing, “Toph you’ve got to see this!” He pointed over at where he had been running from.

“Well I’m sure whatever you’re pointing towards must be very fun to see.” Toph replied, Sokka had to hold in a snort.

“It is! But come so you can really see it from your own eyes!” He said, insisting with his finger.

Toph continued, “I’m sure it is truly great if only I could see it from my own eyes!” she dropped, sarcastically.

“So get up then!” The Duke said, this time Sokka didn’t hold in and bursted in laughter.

Toph punched him in the shoulder making him let a small ‘ouch’ coming out in between his laughs. She then rolled her eyes and followed The Duke who looked a little too much excited for whatever he had found.

Now Sokka was alone again. He finished his bowl of rice and contemplated his options of what he could do for the day. On the list figured swords, but he was going to wait to do it with Zuko so not right now. He also had ‘take a nap’ written in his mind, but he wasn’t tired yet, he had just woken up from what was probably what had been his best night of sleep since they had started travelling around the world.

His head suddenly started pounding again, and he closed his eyes as he brought his palm to his forehead, shutting them hard so that he could try and make the pain go away. It didn’t really work, the second his eyes opened again the sun burnt his eyes and only made the headache worse. He grumbled as he got up and headed back to Zuko’s room. He didn’t know why  exactly he felt himself walk to the firebender’s room, but he didn’t stop his own feet from walking back to the bed and laid himself back under the warm covers. He closed his eyes and slept.

* * *

Sokka was being chased. He felt his blood rushing in his ears, his legs couldn’t stop running though they were aching. He’d stop running, he’d _die_. 

He didn’t know what was chasing him, but he couldn’t dare to turn around and try to see what was running after him. He was panting, his heart jumping in his chest, _run_. He kept running, he _had_ to _keep_ running. He fell, his whole body receiving the shock as his legs tripped over nothing. He was out of breath, he gasped. He was trying breathe whatever air could pass by, but there wasn’t any.

_Dad_.  Keep running for dad. He got up and ran. Every step he took made him out of breath even more. The more he ran, the more he panted. A cramp.  Fuck, this was not the time for a cramp . He kept running, what was his other choice anyway? 

It was getting closer, he could feel it. It was chasing him, wherever he went Sokka could never escape it. He turned his head, still running, and tripped. But this time it didn’t hurt. He was cold. Snow was falling from the sky, who looked dull and grey. It took a moment before realizing that he was in the south pole. _Sokka was_ _home again_. 

He got up and walked to his house. It lasted forever, but the more he approached, the more he felt his body get warmer and warmer. When he finally arrived home, he didn’t even bother knocking, he knew he was expected somehow. So he entered, and his face turned into a shocked emotion when he noticed that only his father was home. The fire was out, it was dark, it was _cold_.  Dad  turned his head around, a body was laying on his lap. Mom.  _Why didn’t you help her_?  Sokka felt the tears flowing his eyes as his father’s look grew inside of his brain. He judged Sokka, he hated him, it was his fault. Sokka ran. He ran out of the ice cold igloo and ran wherever his feet told him to go. The snow falling turned black. No, not again. He stopped running. He dropped on his knees, his palms reaching to his face and he cried. He cried until he had to beg the spirits for air.

‘ _Pouf_!’  A snowball landed on Sokka’s back. He turned around, his eyes still wet. A small boy with a warrior tail. He asked Sokka if he wanted to play, Sokka accepted. The boy showed him how to throw, Sokka knew how to do it already but he listened. He showed Sokka how to make a perfect snowball, Sokka already knew how to make perfect snowballs, but he listened. He listened to all of the instructions as if it was the first time Sokka was playing with snow. ‘ _Here, make one_.’  The kid urged. So Sokka made one, a perfect one, round and white and it melted. He made another one, and it melted too. Again, and it melted. He made more, they all melted. The kid was gone, so was the village, but Sokka kept making more and more and more until all the snow had turned into water. And now he was drowning. He tried to go back to the surface but every effort lead him to the bottom of the ocean he had built.  _Yue_ . No, he had failed her too. It was the price to pay for not protecting the moon. It was what he deserved, it was what his fate was. He stopped breathing and now his head wasn’t in the water anymore. He was in the sand, but not the desert, it was kind of a grey, ashy looking like sand. It was hot, a little too hot. Sokka went to take off of his clothes but he noticed he was already in his bathing suit. He relaxed, he was now alone. He was able to breathe. He was alone. He tensed up. He was alone. He opened his eyes, he was alone. He screamed, he was alone.

_Tears_. Mom, dad, Katara. 

_Out of air_. Aang, Toph.

_Burning_. Zuko.

* * *

He gasped for air. Finally, he could breathe again. His skin was sticky, sweaty. He panted, his mouth was dry, he was thirsty. He sat up, his head was still pounding.  Where was he ? He looked around, he was in Zuko’s room. He was in Zuko’s bed, without Zuko knowing. He got out of the small bed, and headed for the common space again. The nap did  not  help. He felt even shittier than he did before, and the nightmare he had didn’t help his condition. The sun was still out, but it was clear that at least a few hours had passed since he went back to bed.

There was only Katara in the common room, she was practicing waterbending. Sokka gulped at the thought of talking to her, the guilt came back. She didn’t bother looking up at him, too concentrated on her new move or maybe simply ignoring him.

Sokka took a deep breath and his courage, “Hello.” he said.  Spirits his voice was rough. He coughed.

“Oh hey there.” Katara answered, even dryer than Sokka’s mouth.

“I wanted to apologize.” He continued, she still didn’t look up, however she looked like she was a least listening to what Sokka wanted to say, “For yesterday. I know you and Zuko aren’t... well on the best terms.”

“Well no  shit. ” she swore, it made Sokka feel weird.

“The point is, I’m sorry I defended him by completely invalidating your own experience with Zuko I shouldn’t have but I still did.” he said, looking down.

“I accept your apologies Sokka.” she answered, “I wasn’t really mad at you, just disappointed that you would take his side over mine.” 

“I mean I’m not taking sides ever so-“ he got cut off by Katara’s glare, “Okay  maybe  I took some sides. And I am truly sorry about that. The thing is, no matter how hard I try to hate him just like you do, it doesn’t work. There’s something about him that makes me want to trust him.” he sighed. Katara had now stored her bending water back into her pouch and she was looking at him with comprehensive eyes. It helped that she wasn’t mad, Sokka felt secure. He suddenly hissed at the pain in his head making a short comeback, then leaving with a print.

“Sokka sit down.” Katara ordered, and so he did. She took her water out of her pouch again and wrapped it over Sokka’s head. She breathed and then the warm water turned cold, glowing as it was making his way through Sokka’s nerves. It hurt for a minute, but he soon felt relief take over him as Katara brought the water back into the pouch. He thanked her, and they hugged.

* * *

“And we didn’t get to do any firebending today because Zuko said my stance wasn’t strong enough!” Aang complained.

“It’s not my fault that you stance like a four year old.” Zuko teased, “But tomorrow I promise that you are going to be ready to firebend.” and he took a bite of his rice.

The circle laughed as Aang made a pout, Katara looked like she was trying her best not to shoot knifes out of her eyes. Sokka blushed, somehow Zuko could be funny too, if he wanted. His eyes were still on Zuko when Toph punched him in the arm, reminding him that he still didn’t tell her where he had been the previous night.  Well shit , it’s not like he could make up a lie, she would probably sense it anyway. So he had to tell her that he slept in Zuko’s room, and then he’d very probably would have to tell her that they slept in the same bed. She will probably tease him about it, or worse, tell the others, but Sokka had accepted his fate by then.

They finished eating and now everyone was getting ready to go on with the rest of the evening before going to sleep. Toph took Sokka apart, to the place where she, Aang and Haru would practice earthbending. If it had been Katara or Aang who had took him far from anyone else in order to make him explain, he would’ve tried making up a believable lie, but now there was no use as they arrived closer to his humiliation. 

“Now, you better tell me where you were or else.” Toph threatened.

Sokka had to face it now, he inhaled before releasing, “With Zuko.”

It took a moment for Toph to adjust to what Sokka had just said. He immediately regretted talking, or the past night, or just avoiding freezing to death before Zuko found him.

“Well I wasn’t expecting that.” she finally said, “So who slept on the floor?” Sokka stayed silent, “No way! You two slept in the sa-“

Sokka put his hand against her mouth and shushed her, “Shut up or they’re going to hear us!”

She pushed his arm away and replied, “No need to worry Snoozles, everyone is too far this place is practically sound proof.” 

Sokka looked around. Maybe she was right, they were circled by the start of the vast forest, and also pretty far from the temples. 

“So, do you like him or something?” Toph said, emerging a seat for her and Sokka to sit on.

He felt his whole face turn red, lucky him Toph couldn’t see or else she would have another reason to believe that Sokka was lying, “Me? No I don’t! I barely know him and he joined  yesterday . Plus, I don’t even know if I can trust him yet.” It was a lie, Sokka knew that he could trust Zuko, his guts were screaming it. But maybe Toph didn’t know that.

“You know Sokka, Zuko may have burnt my feet, and if it wasn’t for Katara I could’ve stayed blind my whole life!” she said, throwing her arms in the air, “But I know that he didn’t really mean to do it.” 

“I mean yeah! It was an accident, but chasing us around the world wasn’t really an accident.” Sokka frowned. She didn’t mention him chasing them, but somehow it slipped off of his mouth, and now it was too late to take it back.

Toph shrugged, “Well of course it wasn’t, but did he really mean it?” 

“Of course he did! Why are you even asking this?” Sokka asked, of course, he wasn’t mad at Zuko anymore, but that didn’t mean that he magically forgot the trouble he had put them through for the past months.

“Well look Sokka, you don’t have to actually listen to what I’ll say, after all I don’t really know the guy myself, but I don’t think that he really _meant_ to chase us.” Sokka stayed silent, he was listening, “You see, I know Ozai is a piece of shit who can’t treat his kids like you should treat your kids. Zuko only wanted one thing, to go home. His father had installed in his brain that the only way that Zuko could be his son is if he brought back the avatar.”

“I know that already.” Sokka said, maybe he was listening, but the conversation felt pointless.

Toph raised her finger, “Let me finish!” she cleared her throat, “Zuko never really  meant  to hurt you guys, he only wanted to be a son to his dad. He chased us because all he wanted was to be back home, until he realized that home wasn’t with his dad. He did hurt people along the way, of course, but it wasn’t his pure intention. It was when he stopped listening to what his  mind  was telling him to do, what his  father  had told him was the only way for him to be loved that he finally started doing what he truly was  meant  to do.” 

“Being Aang’s master.” Sokka said under his breath, completing Toph’s sentence.

“Not only that,” she added, “but also being our friends. Or more than friends if I’m addressing to you.” 

He didn’t reply, but he felt his face turn red again.

“Now I have no idea if what I just said made any sense but I hope you get it.” Toph said, brining her arms behind her head.

Sokka chuckled, “You’re pretty good at this you know?”

Toph punched him in the arm, but this time a little lighter than she usually would, “Shut up.”

“You won’t tell anyone right?” Sokka asked.

“Of course not. None of my business.” she reassured.

* * *

The fire was now small and wasn’t providing much warmth, but everyone was too deep into their sleep to notice. Everyone except Sokka, who was still trying to sort things out in his brain. Toph was now aware of his _maybe-crush-idon’tknow-i’mthinking_ on Zuko and he still wasn’t quite sure on it himself. All he could think about for now was him, and all he wanted to do was get up and meet him. He could, if he was sure that Zuko wanted Sokka bothering him. He brushed the thought away, Zuko was probably already sleeping and Sokka would be a nuisance. Unless maybe Zuko  wanted  him there. But no, the possibilities of Zuko wanting Sokka close to him again were probably close to zero. Last night was a  favour, not something Zuko wanted. If anything, he would’ve preferred Sokka freezing to death, but he took him in for whatever reason.

So, pointless really. But now he found himself in front of his door again. This time he brought his own blanket and pillow. He stared into the dark room, he could barely see Zuko sitting on his bed, staring back at Sokka who was frozen in place. 

“Can I help you?” Zuko’s voice pierced, and Sokka knew he shouldn’t have dared being there. Yet he had, and he regretted it.

Sokka took control of himself again, blinking twice, “Uh yeah it’s nothing nevermind. Going back to my spot sorry for bothering.” he turned around.

“Sokka wait.” Zuko said, and Sokka looked back into the room, “You can sleep here if you want to.” 

Sokka smiled and entered Zuko’s room. Zuko scooted over in order to make room for him. 

Well, now it was awkward though. Sokka didn’t really know  why  he wanted to be with Zuko that badly, maybe it would help him sort his feelings out. But for now all he could think about was the warm that Zuko was providing him. Even under his own blanket, and his back barely touching Zuko’s, he could feel his radiating heat through his entire body.

Sokka broke the silence, without even thinking and he said, “Gosh, you’re hot.” immediately regretting it a second after it left his mouth.  
“What?” Zuko answered, and Sokka could feel him turn around to face him, but Sokka still had his back turned on him, and he had no intention on turning to meet his eyes.

“I- I mean like, you’re warm! Like you’re- you radiate heat! I mean physically, not really well, not that you aren’t it’s just that I didn’t mean it  that  way-“ Sokka said, words falling out of his mouth as if he had no control over it anymore.

Zuko interrupted him in his blabbering, “Yea I know, I just do that somehow. I can make it stop if you want.” 

“No! It’s fine I like the warmth.” Sokka said, finally turning to his side to meet Zuko’s gaze. 

Now they were incredibly close to one another, if anyone happened to pass by and peak into the room it would be over for them, but luckily that didn’t happen. Sokka felt the heat build up even more as Zuko’s eyes plunged into his. Pools of gold slowly mixing into the blue ones, not letting anything distract them from that moment. It felt like Zuko was reaching inside of him, as if he wanted-

“Anyway.” Zuko said, his voice shaking a bit, “Why did you come here?” 

Well, Sokka wasn’t sure if he’d be able to talk after what they had just shared. Like all his words got stripped away from his brain. His cheeks still felt flushed and his face was on fire, he’d be surprised if it also wasn’t painted in a pretty shade of pink. But he managed to recollect himself and talk before the answering time would seem weird, “I wanted to talk?” 

“About what?” Zuko answered, at this point he was now already sitting and Sokka joined his level.

“Well uh, swords?” Sokka tried to come up with an excuse.

Zuko didn’t really seem to buy it either, his raised eyebrow was telling enough, “It’s the middle of the night I don’t think  now  is the right time to practice swords.” 

“No I mean talk to me about swords! You’re the only one here who’s also trained with Piandao and I’d like to know what it was like.” Sokka shrugged.

“Okay fine, where do I even start?” Zuko sighed, but the flame in his eyes didn’t seem like he had gotten tired of Sokka so far.

So Zuko talked about his time training with Piandao, and Sokka shared his experiences too. They spent half of the night telling each other stories about their own cultures, exchanging adventures of the time they were enemies. And tonight Sokka did not have a nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i literally live for the fact that Toph can have meaningful conversations with morales and all like it brings me happiness and something else that she’s good at
> 
> also!! sorry for the late update i literally lost the track of days lol 


	4. Don’t they say that opposites attract?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sokka and Zuko do more sparing, duh.

The next morning Sokka was up after Zuko. He’d figured, since it was the second time in two days, that Zuko was rather matinal. Probably a firebender thing, he did hear something about ‘ _rising with the sun_ ’ or whatever, and the sun was a huge ball of fire, so made sense. 

He got out of bed and headed once again for the main room, this time he bothered coming up with a lie on where he had been though, since he knew that Toph was on his side. He put his hair up in his warrior tail on the way there, since he never slept with his hair up. 

He heard Katara and Toph rambling about something, so Aang was probably practicing firebending already. He wondered if he was already able to make huge flames, after all Aang was a rather fast learner, and Zuko didn’t seem like that much of a bad teacher. Well Sokka knew, since Zuko was teaching him stuff about swording. It had been a day since he hadn’t practiced, so he added ‘sword practice’ to his mental list of things he needed to do today.

He sat down, ignoring the stares that his sister was throwing at him. 

“Well hello.” He said, noticing that she definitely was not the one who was going to talk first.

“And where were you this morning?” She squinted, trying to pull the truth out of Sokka’s mouth, but he already had a plan.

“I went to swim in the lake.” He answered, his voice assurant.

“And  why  did you go swim in the lake before the sun was even up?” She asked again.

“Because I wanted to? And besides, the view is astonishing you should see it for yourself one day.” He explained, he didn’t really know what the view from the forest looked like.

She sighed, “Anyways, Zuko should be done practicing firebending soon so I’ll be taking him.” Katara looked over at Toph who laid on her back, using her arms as a comforter for her head.

“Sounds fine to me.” She answered.

Sokka looked around, and noticed that there wasn’t any food, “The rice? I’m hungry.” He said looking at Katara.

“There’s apples if you want Sokka, you don’t need  me  to cook your own food.” Katara replied.

“Sokka seems to be in a great mood today.” Toph said after letting out a snort.

“If acting like a jerk is what defines Sokka being in a great mood then.” Katara said back.

Sokka got up and grabbed an apple, “Yeah yeah, anyways. I’m going to do some sparing so if you miss me, you know where I’m going to be. No fear of being captured!” he said, looking over at Katara who blowed raspberries.

He laughed and grabbed his sword before heading to the training area. While he was getting, there he thought about getting Zuko first so that they could spar right after they were done training. _Peachy_. So he headed to the firebending training spot where he rightfully found the two other boys practicing. 

“Hey  _ jerks _ , mind if i watch you two  _ jerks  _ do your  _ jerk _ bending?” He stopped himself from laughing by taking a bite of his apple. Sometimes he found himself hilarious.

He sat down and noticed that there wasn’t any fire being produced, and instead of sounds of laughter from his  exquisite  joke, all he got was an angry Zuko yelling at him, “Get out of here!” His fists at his sides.

Well if Sokka knew that him interrupting their little firebending session was going to put him in such a fury then he wouldn’t have went. But it was done already, so Sokka dropped his apple and got up, “I was just kidding around.  _ Jerk _ bending, still got it.” He snorted and adjusted his shirt before walking away. 

He went to the sword training area, swooping his sword around and making sounds as he pretended they crashed into something. ‘ Take that you musty firebender! _Swoosh_!”  He said, pointing with his blade. He then moved, now he was imitating the sound of metal colliding against each metal. Throwing in some fake pants and  ‘Ah! Got you there! ’. It was kind of entertaining at first, but after a few minutes he felt stupid. He wanted to spar for real, against someone. Against  Zuko .

He wanted to learn new things too, and he knew that Zuko could help with that. Even if they had just sparred once. Sokka had learned a lot with Piando during his short training, but Zuko was considered a  master  swordsman, and he was also right there. Sokka was nothing close to that at all. Because if he had been then his father and everyone would be okay. So he wanted to practice. No, he  _ needed  _ to practice, to get better. So that he could save his dad and never disappoint anyone ever again. He needed to master swords completely so that he would never fail protecting people he loved. 

But Zuko wasn’t coming. He probably didn’t know that Sokka was there waiting for him so maybe he went to wash himself, or maybe he was still training with Aang. So Sokka got on his feet and headed back to the firebending spot. 

He was surprised to find Zuko alone, punching into the air and grunting. Why wasn’t he firebending? At least his lesson with Aang was over so he wasn’t bothering again. He took a deep breath and approached Zuko.

“Hey. Is everything okay there?” Sokka asked.

“What does it look like?” Zuko answered angrily, still punching.

“ Nothing ? You’re just throwing fists into the air.” 

Zuko stopped punching. He sighed and let his head down to Sokka’s look of confusion, “I lost it.”

“Yeah, we kinda all did bout considering the circumstances- ” Sokka answered, still confused.

“I lost my firebending! It’s gone!” Zuko shouted, and Sokka took a step back.

“You couldn’t have  lost  your firebending, you’re a firebender! That’s like one of the only things you’re good at.” He teased, because it wasn’t true. Zuko was good at plenty of other stuff like, swords, or teaching things. He was also incredibly good at making Sokka blush sometimes, must be his jokes. 

Zuko snorted, a small smile drew on Sokka’s face. Zuko looked up to him again, “Aang said that it might be the altitude. But i’ve never had a problem with firebending in the air before.” 

Sokka didn’t know what to answer. He wasn’t a bender, he didn’t even know how it felt to bend, let alone losing the ability to do such things. So he tried his best he could with his answer, “Well um, have you tried maintaining your stance?”

“My stance is perfect thank you.” He replied, “I don’t expect you to help me or anything you know.” And he went back to squatting.

“Well why don’t you ask Toph? I’m sure she could help since she’s a bender and everything.” 

Zuko threw a fist into the air, this time a small flame got out, “Toph is an earthbender, it’s not the same thing as firebending.” 

“Well why don’t you ask Katara then? Or maybe I could since she hates you and all.” He said.

Zuko didn’t hesitate before answering to his offer, “They’re opposites.” And another punch into the air.

“Don’t they say that opposites attract?” 

Zuko straightened up immediately and looked at Sokka, “No! Never! Why?”

Sokka let out a laugh, Zuko still looked panicked, “Woah calm down _mister hot stuff_. The last thing I’d want is you dating my sister.” He said, and brought his hand to Zuko’s shoulder.

“Did you just call me  hot stuff ?” Zuko said.

“It’s just a nickname, I can stop if you want.” Sokka tried his best not to blush, but maybe he failed when he saw Zuko smile again.

“You can stay. If you want. I’m still going to train.” Zuko said, going back to squatting.

Sokka nodded and went to sit on a rock so he could watch.

* * *

He left when he heard Katara calling him for help. Now diner was made and today they had fish, thanks to Haru and the others who went fishing earlier on. Everyone was set to eat, everyone but Zuko. Sokka looked around only to find him leaning on a pillar, and by the look on his face, he hadn’t gained his firebending back.

Zuko walked toward them, “Listen everybody. I’ve got some pretty bad news. I’ve lost my stuff.”

Toph quickly raised her hands to her head, “Don’t look at me. I didn’t touch your stuff.” Sokka raised an eyebrow.

“I’m talking about my firebending.” Zuko continued, “It’s gone.”

Katara let’s out a laugh, everyone turning to her, “I’m sorry. I’m just laughing at the irony. You know, how ut would’ve been nice for us if you lost your firebending a long time ago.”

“Well, it’s not lost. It’s just” he hesitates, “weaker for some reason.” Zuko answers, his face still annoyed.

“Maybe you’re not as good as you think you are.” She continues, and Toph lets out a ‘Ouch’.

Zuko should’ve been annoyed, but instead his face illuminates, “I bet it’s because I’ve changed sides!” 

Katara takes a bite of her food, “That’s ridiculous.” 

“I don’t know, maybe it isn’t. Maybe your firebending comes from rage and you just don’t have enough anger to fuel it the way you used to.”, Aang joins.

Sokka suddenly has an idea, “So all we need to do is make Zuko angry. Easy enough.” 

He gets up and takes his sword’s hilt before poking Zuko in the head and waist with it, letting out a few giggles as Zuko seems to grow more annoyed. He’s about to hit him again before Zuko yells, “Okay cut it out!” And Sokka drops the hilt on his head.

He comes back to sitting at his place besides Toph as Zuko says something that his mind didn’t bother listening to.

Toph speaks right after him, “You’re gonna need to learn to draw your firebending from a different source. I recommend the original source.” She takes a bite from her food.

“How’s he supposed to do that? By jumping into a volcano?” Sokka jokes.

“No. Zuko needs to go back to whatever the original source of firebending is.” Toph answers.

“So, is it jumping into a volcano?” Sokka asks.

* * *

They finished eating. Zuko said that him and Aang were leaving first thing in the morning, so Sokka couldn’t practice swords with Zuko the time he was going to be away. He went to Zuko’s room, where the found him packing his bag with a few items such as food and water. 

“Hey.” Sokka said, not daring to step into the room.

Zuko turned to him, “What’s up?” 

“So um, since you’re leaving tomorrow I wanted to ask if we could practice swording?” Sokka offered, rubbing his neck.

“Well uh sure, but not for too long.” Zuko answered, getting up. Sokka nodded and they went to the sword spot.

Zuko didn’t hold back today, Sokka noticed it. His hits were more forceful, more precise. Sokka only won one match to the seven they had done. He was panting, sweat was dripping off his forehead. “Last one.” Zuko said, helping Sokka to get up. 

They stood away from each other, and then they rushed. Sokka held his sword up to his shoulder. He hit Zuko’s first sword, the two making a metallic sound as they hit against one another. Sokka noticed that Zuko’s right grip was weak, so he hit the right sword, throwing it out of his hand. He smirked at Zuko’s shocked expression, and rushed back at him.

Zuko didn’t think twice before he swooped his sword under Sokka’s feet, urging him to fall on his back. Zuko pointed his sword at him, a smirk drew on his face as he was about to state his victory. Sokka swiped his feet at Zuko’s ankle, putting him on the floor too. He walked over to him, putting his body on top of Zuko, his knees on both sides of his waist and held his fists to the ground, leaving both of their swords alone.

“So who’s winning now uh?” Sokka grinned. 

Zuko laughed and pushed Sokka to his side, then going back on top of him, the same position they were in not long ago, “Well, not much to say now _uh_?” Zuko smirked at Sokka’s astonished face.

He was flushed. He could feel is whole face changing to red. The way only the moonlight was able to illuminate the scene, and the way it was dancing on Zuko’s face. He stayed silent, looking deep inside the amber eyes. Zuko didn’t say anything either, and he felt like the universe had stopped breathing with him. His heart didn’t stop pumping and he could hear it in his ears, going faster every second spent into the other’s eyes. Even if Zuko couldn’t bend anymore, he saw a flame into him. It was dancing, waiting for someone to take it. And he wanted to take it, he wanted to be the one to handle the flame, he was sure he could be able to without burning.

Zuko cleared his throat and suddenly they breathed again. He got off Sokka and went for his swords, picking them up.

“Um anyways, goodnight Sokka.” He said, his voice a little rough.

“Wait!” Sokka got up, “Can you give me some exercises so that I can get better while you’re gone?” 

Zuko stopped from leaving, “You don’t need any. You’re getting quite good even.” He said, not turning his back from Sokka.

“No, I’m not perfect yet. And considering how slow it’s going right now, I’m not going to be for a while.” Sokka frowned.

Zuko turned to face him, “Sokka, you don’t  need  to be perfect. You’re already great.” 

Sokka felt something in himself break, “No! If I _had_ been  perfect  or even just  great  back there then I wouldn’t have failed!” And then something warm fell on his cheek. Then another one, and another. Until he couldn’t stop and he fell on his knees, bringing his hands to his face. He wasn’t planning on crying in front of Zuko ever, and right now might not have been the right time either.

Zuko walked back to Sokka, his swords now packed on his back, “Fuck, I’m sorry I wasn’t planning on that.” Sokka said.

Zuko didn’t answer and instead sat down besides Sokka. He wrapped his arm around Sokka shoulder.

“Are trying to pull in for a hug?” Sokka asked, removing his hands from his face.

“Yea, if you want to.” Zuko said shyly.

Sokka nodded hugged him. It felt weird to be in Zuko’s arms, but he felt warm. He didn’t know Zuko could give such hugs either. To be fair, he didn’t think that Zuko could be  human  for a long time. His tears didn’t stop falling from his eyes, but he felt the pain slowly wash off.

Zuko pulled away, leaving one hand on Sokka’s shoulder, “Wanna talk about it?” 

“I just.” Sokka sighed, “I feel like I failed.” He said, looking at the ground, “And I did. I let everyone down. Not only my father but also The Duke and Haru and Teo. I let them all down when I decided not to step away.” Sokka felt his throat tighten and knew another wave of cries where on their way. He took a deep breath, “I let down my mother. I let down Yue, I let down Katara when Aang burned her. I wasn’t there to protect them and they still got...  _ hurt _ . Not only them, but everyone around.” 

Zuko stayed silent, and if anything, Sokka was expecting him to leave after that. The boy had his problems too, he didn’t need Sokka’s on top. But Zuko broke the silence, “Do you dream?”

“Yeah?” He answered, looking at Zuko who’s gaze was on the same spot that Sokka was looking at a few seconds ago.

“About what?” Zuko asked.

“Well I don’t know, I remember a few. Sometimes it’s about meat, like when I go hunt. Oh! And I remember that one dream where food ate people, that was scary.” Sokka said. 

Zuko looked at him, unimpressed, and raised an eyebrow. So that wasn’t what he was asking for, alright. Sokka wasn’t planning on giving in, but the golden eyes had their ways to his brain, “I have this dream about running. I run I run and whatever I do there’s a thing that cannot stop chasing me, but I don’t know what it is. I just know that I need to keep running. And then I fall into snow, and I walk back home, only to find my- my mom in my dad’s lap.” Sokka cried, “And so I get out and run and run again until I find sort of a mini me and we play,” He lets out a snort at the thought, “we play with the snow. And then I try to make the perfect snowball but I can’t because it keeps melting in my hands, and so I use all of the snow and now it’s an ocean and I drown.”

Zuko pressed Sokka’s shoulder, “How many times did you get this dream?” 

“Many times actually. Ever since we started travelling, they just get bigger. And sometimes they change. Sometimes I see fire, only fire. And then Katara screams and she’s burnt. But she can’t heal, so she stays burnt. Forever.” Sokka answered.

“You know, my uncle once told me that staying on one thing that happened in the past will only make you hurt.” Zuko said, “I’m not saying that you have to give them up. Believe me, I know it’s hard. I’m saying that one day you’ll have to overcome them. I don’t know how, but, whenever it is. I’m sure you’ll be able to.” And his eyes were bright.

“Yeah. I’m just, sick of those nightmares.” Sokka answered, rubbing his forehead.

“I have nightmares too, if that helps.” Zuko said, letting out a small laugh.

Sokka joined him with his own, and so Zuko laughed harder, causing them to both laugh until their stomachs were cramped and Zuko had tears in his eyes. He wiped them off, leaving Sokka’s shoulder empty and cold.

He breathed and tried to take some air, and now he was back to small snorts, “What do you do when you have those?”

“Nothing really, I just try and go back to sleep.” Zuko answered.

“Oh okay. Well uh” Sokka paused, looking for what to say, and Zuko looked up at him again. A smile was drawn on his face and Sokka smiled back, “If you ever have those you can tell me about them, so that you’re not facing them alone yknow.” His damp cheeks were now pink.

“I will. And uh, same thing for you, if you want.” Zuko answered, bringing his hand to his neck and rubbing it.

* * *

Sokka was running, and whatever was chasing him was running too. He could hear its footsteps, pounding in his ears like the heart in his chest. He tried going faster, only to feel himself going slower and slower. He was panting, sweat dripping down his temple. The more he ran the more the thing got closer. So he stopped running. Suddenly everything stopped. Around him was white. _There was no sound_. So he shouted. _No sound_. So he cried. _No sound_. So he was on his knees, shielding his head with both of his arms. He tried to hear his heartbeat. He couldn’t, _there was no sound._

Sokka woke up, it was the middle of the night and everyone was asleep. The fire had gone out by now, and he felt a little cold. He sighed, everyone looked so peaceful. The snoring around him was quite relaxing. A familiar  sound . He fell back to sleep.

It wasn’t white anymore. He was warm. He wasn’t wearing anything but a shirt and some shorts, yet he felt so hot. He removed his shirt, and then boots were added. So he removed his boots, and then a coat was added. As he was about to remove his coat he was suddenly in the middle of a snowstorm. He was cold. Extremely cold. He felt his whole body freeze on place. And suddenly, he wanted his boots again. He held to the coat. He gripped on it like his life depended on it. It was the only thing keeping him warm. He blinked. Fire. Fire on his left to his right back to on front of him and almost on his clothes. Laughs. Dark. It was dark. Laughs again.  Yue . 

He couldn’t move, his feet were stuck into place and his whole body felt like dough. But he heard her laugh, as if she as right there. He could feel her warmth, he could see her smile, he could feel his lips on hers. He closed his eyes. He opened them back to see that he was still alone. So he cried. Nothing was falling off his eyes but he cried, his whole body collapsing on the floor. 

Hands. Laughs. It wasn’t a known sound. He heard it before he knew it but it wasn’t from anyone he had seen in his dreams either. The laughs, they were the most beautiful sound Sokka heard. Along with his mother’s voice when she sang. He felt himself drive to sleep, a smile on his face.

He woke up. He was in someone’s lap. He didn’t know who, there wasn’t any particular voice. But it was sunny. It was peaceful. And Sokka felt great, amazing. He looked up to see who’s lap he was on. Pale skin, dark hair, ember eyes. A laugh. Zuko. He was laying in Zuko’s lap. And he felt good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whew whew!! i hope you guys liked that dream sequence it’s my favourite thing to write ever.
> 
> again!! sorry for the late update i’ve been trying to upload for the past few days but there was always something coming up :/ 
> 
> next update should be in 5-6 days tho!!


	5. Cartee

“Where’s Zuko?”

“He left earlier with Aang. He wasn’t kidding when he said first thing in the morning. The sun was barely up and he was on Appa.” Katara answered, serving him some rice.

Great. The last thing Sokka wanted was Zuko gone for a few days. Now he didn’t really what else he could do out there. Haru was often with Toph, bonding over some earthbender stuff, so he didn’t want to disturb anything. Katara was often practicing her waterbending, so again, not interested. That left him with The Duke and Teo, who as the only other non benders here were spending a lot of time together. He heard of their races down to the Hall of Statues, so he thought he might just do that. He didn’t really want to, but he’d rather spend some time with people rather than be sad about Zuko’s absence.

Plus, he had no one to talk about his absence. Well false, there was Toph. But he knew she wasn’t into all that  _ goody goody  _ stuff and he would just end up bothering. He would’ve talked about it to Katara, they would normally tell each other  everything , but considering her relationship with Zuko being far from what he and himself had, he’d rather not to. And considering the fact that he didn’t know how she would react if Katara knew her brother had feelings for her greatest enemy, he didn’t think twice about not going into it.

Talking about those feelings, Sokka still had no idea if what he was experiencing was what he really thought he was experiencing. His most recent nightmare-or he should call it dream since it ended sort of well- had left him confused. He did  like  Zuko in a platonic way, that he was sure. He liked training with him and overall Zuko was quite nice. Romantically however? He would blush at everything Zuko did, even if it was the most fucking minor thing ever like the way his  nose  moves when he talks or snorts. Sokka was also the only one that Zuko would be this open with, and so Sokka was the only one to have seen his adorable mannerisms up close and personal. He liked it.

He liked the fact that somehow, a part of Zuko was only known by him and him only. That he was the only one that eyes had melted into Zuko’s, the only one who had received a hug from him. Zuko was also the only one to learn about Sokka’s nightmares. Sokka had never bothered telling anyone else about it, and he wasn’t planning to either. And yet, somehow, Zuko had made him talk. Just by raising his only single eyebrow and plunging his eyes in Sokka’s, he had made him talk.

And now he was standing there, alone, about to do the exercices Zuko had told him to do before leaving. There was a lot, that’s for sure. Zuko didn’t go easy on Sokka, giving him about one hour worth of exercises plus fifteen minutes of stretches and forty five of sword manipulation. Yeah, Sokka was going to end up  exhausted , that he knew for sure. 

So he started, always with stretches. He brought one arm over his shoulder and pushed it with his other, doing the same thing for the left arm.  He _did_ like Zuko’s hair. The way it was brushing over his face and he would slightly push or blow them away when they were sparing.

Now Sokka was on the floor, legs extended and reached for his toes. He had a hard time with flexibility, Zuko had told him, and he knew how important it was to be flexible when it came to combat, so he concentrated into it. His tongue was out, an eye closed, like he was looking at a target he didn’t have to miss. He _did also_ like Zuko’s laugh, but he had thought about that already. He couldn’t stop thinking about it, to be fair to him.

After a few other stretches, he moved to the exercises part. Squats and Pushups seemed like something Zuko  loved  doing, so he gave Sokka tons of variations. Burpees, burpees squats, burpees pushups, burpees pushups squats, oh and to be original, burpees plank pushups squats and jumping jacks. 

After some other soul drenching and made up things, it was time for the sword manipulation part. Zuko had judged Sokka pretty great by now, giving him a light tap on his shoulder and complimenting his skills. But he still left a lot of things to work on. Lucky him, Sokka was ambidesxtrous, so Zuko had told him to cheat and learn to use both of his hands so that way he’d have an advantage. Of course, Sokka listened and was now doing multiple manoeuvres with his right hand, before switching with his left. He picked up on it quite easily, so the forty five minutes got reduced to easily twenty two. 

‘ _Almost done_ ’., He sighed to himself. Last was stretching again. It’s important to do it both and before physical activities, or else you’d end up with sore muscles and regret. So as much as Sokka wanted to skip it all together and go jump into that lake, he did them. Another fifteen minutes spent hoping that Zuko would come back soon. So that they could train together. And so that Sokka could make fun of him meanwhile Zuko does his impossibles ‘ramming squats’.

* * *

Sokka was back from a well deserved session at the lake. He came back feeling renewed, as if he had changed so much as a man after that. He was less drained than he thought he would be, he made a mental note to thank Zuko for all of it. 

It was passed noon by now, Sokka could tell with the position of the sun. So maybe Zuko would be back then. It made him happy just to think about it. His thoughts about Zuko were quickly swiped away when he saw Haru and Teo trying to come up with something in order to race down faster and not only stop in the Statues Hall and instead could continue down to the fountain. 

“I am telling you, this is not how it’s going to be done!” Haru said, pointing at the sketch Teo had made.

“And I am telling you, the way I positioned the wheels of your cart will only make you two go faster.” Teo said back.

Sokka walked over to them, “Wassup fellas?”

“Hey Sokka, you’re a genius right?” Teo asked, his eyes still on the draft.

“Well I wouldn’t call myself that yet but pretty sure I’m close.” 

“Great, could you please tell Haru that my calculations are correct and that in  that  way the wheels will just be in perfect alignment so that we can go faster?” He continued.

Haru rolled his eyes, “Teo, the wheels are going to break!” 

Sokka bent over the drawing. It was a pretty clear sketch, definitely much clearer than any Sokka had made so far, yet-

“There’s a mistake.”

Haru grinned, “Ah! I told you that there was a problem with it.”

“Actually both of you are wrong.” Sokka replied, taking the parchemin in his hands and examining it closer, “Teo, Haru was right. The wheels are going to break considering their angle and the weight of both Haru and The Duke. But Haru, you were also wrong on the fact that it isn’t going to work. Teo just forgot to add in the weight stuff but believe me, other than that and the angle, you guys will go faster than an angry mink snake on its way to bite you.” He laughed at his own reference, “Okay so other than that, you were both wrong and right.”

He gave the drawing back to Teo, “Do you think you could help us build it?” 

Sokka shrugged, it was a way to occupy him other than to think about Zuko. And he could spend more time with the other guys, that seemed cool. He nodded and they went to the ‘crafting room’ that Teo had found after exploring the temple.

They already had bunch of stuff in there in order to build at least two carts. Sokka was impressed at the number of material they had found down there. They started taking measurements for the wood, cutting and assembling the whole thing as the day progressed. 

The sun was almost down, it had took them almost an entire afternoon to build two carts and add new wheels to Teo’s chair so that he could also go faster. Other than the changes made by Sokka, they also added better breaks to the carts and better seats, thanks to The Duke’s help at testing the comfortability of the racing machine.

Now they were at the head of the tunnel. Sokka wheeled his cart that he had named ‘ _Cartee_ ’ almost up to the starting line. As he sat down, he noticed that not only the tunnel was very long (the Hall of Statues was about one kilometre away from there) but it was also very dark. He gulped and didn’t think much of it, after all if Teo and the others had raced down there before then he was sure it wasn’t so bad.

“Everyone ready?” Haru shouted, and they all nodded, “ _Go_!”

The race was on. Three carts were racing down to the finish line, wanting to win whatever there was that they could win. Maybe an extra portion of rice for the winner, or the loser had to clean after diner, who knew. They were going to discuss that later, for now, everyone was focused on the wind blowing on their face as they raced down the fastest that they ever did.

Sokka wasn’t quite sure about his mink snake reference anymore, maybe he had been a little too generous when he said that. Because now he was sure that they were racing ever faster that a combination of five mink snakes only wanting to bite your arm off for stealing an egg. Even that didn’t sound right.

He had experienced a lot in his life before, especially for being only fifteen. He had faced spirits, Fire Nation soldiers, the last airbender that only turns out to be the Avatar. He had been in various transportation methods. But somehow this was the fastest thing he had ever been into. He tried to scream but the only thing that could get out of his mouth was, well nothing, because the wind entered his mouth the second he had opened it. 

Maybe the Hall wasn’t that far, or the fountain either, and maybe even with the speed it could take roughly two minutes to be there but somehow it felt like hours. His eyes closed and his head stuck in between his knees, Cartee wasn’t slowing down. If anything she was only catching up speed by the second. Sokka didn’t know that the tunnel had curves, or that they were so sharp either, but he felt them. He gripped the cart with both of his hands, his life kind of depending on it, and tucked his head deeper in between his knees.

“SOKKA THE BREAKS!” He heard a scream. _Oh right_ , the breaks. He had forgotten that he was supposed to hit the breaks whenever he felt the right turn, but somehow that information had slipped out of his mind. So now all he had to do was hit the breaks right? Well that would’ve been easy enough if he wasn’t  terrified  at the thought of letting go of his grip. He should’ve put the breaks inside, somehow. He took a deep breath after what felt like months of not breathing, and he tried to stop the cart. 

Except that, nothing. Maybe he just didn’t pull hard enough, so he did it again, this time pulling a little harder. Nothing, again. _Fuckfuckfuck_ right now was not the time to die. Especially not after discovering a huge part of yourself and still trying to figure out what to do with it. Oh and also the war and stuff that he needed to contribute in, of course. He pulled for a third time, and again, nothing. 

At this point, Sokka didn’t know what else there was to do. Maybe he could pray to the spirits? He never really believed in that stuff but maybe now could be the time to have a little faith in them. He didn’t really know where to start, Katara never prayed to the spirits and he never bothered paying attention when Gran Gran was. Maybe he could do like Aang? He was mister spiritual after all, so why not try? He tried putting himself in the same position as Aang, but unsuccessful. So he pressed his eyes closed even harder than they already were and-

Suddenly he felt the whole thing stop and his body getting thrown into the air. Was this really what death felt like? He didn’t know what he was expecting but whatever, that wasn’t it. He landed on the floor, feeling his whole body hit the hard rock of the temple. For being dead, that felt very much alive to him. 

“Sokka are you hurt?” He heard Katara say, then a sound of ice melting back into water and getting stored in the leather pouch.

Well maybe he wasn’t just hurt, he was  dead, but he took his chance at speaking, “I don’t know.”

“I’d be surprised if you haven’t cracked some bones here and there, get up.” Katara ordered with a simple hand gesture.

“I don’t think I can Katara, just let me die here I’m okay with that.” He said as he brought his hand to his forehead and played all dramatical. 

She sighed and rolled her eyes. As she headed back to the dining and sleeping area, she turned around, “Me and Toph found meat, I can’t believe you’re going to miss that.”

“Meat!? I’m up! Never even felt better!” Well maybe that was a lie, he felt his bone crack as he stretched back up.

* * *

Meat had never tasted so good. Even if it wasn’t Water Tribe meat, Sokka still gulped down his plate at an astonishing speed. It had been weeks now without any meat or things like that. First of all, it wasn’t as accessible as he thought it would be, and second of all Aang was vegetarian. So they tried their best to follow his regime, and Sokka wasn’t either the one to complain too much about it. But now he was happy that he had meat.

“You know you could’ve died right?” Katara says, throwing him a glare colder than the temperature back home.

“To his defence, he could also die just here right now on the spot too.” Toph pointed at him.

Katara switched her face expression to a more ‘ you disgust me Sokka ’ as he gulped down his third plate, “Maybe I should’ve let him fall off the cliff then.” She joked.

The others giggled, Sokka stayed unamused. 

It didn’t last long for everyone to finish eating. And then go to bed. Sokka usually would go to Zuko’s room after that, or maybe spar with him. But Zuko wasn’t there, and for the first time in three days, Sokka felt like there was some part of him missing.

Less than a week ago he couldn’t  imagine  himself sleeping in the same room as Zuko, or let alone just spend time with him. But now, he could never imagine himself  not  talking to Zuko before going to bed, or not sparing with him and trying to keep it cool as their skin accidentally brushed. 

Yeah, he needed to talk about it to someone. He had spent his day trying to avoid it, and he had pretty much succeeded by then. But now it was nighttime and for some reason everything must always come at this hour. He sighed as he turned to face the ceiling. Everyone asleep. Good. His chances of talking to Toph were even lower now, and anyone else here? He couldn’t even  think  about asking them for advice about _Zuko_.

And then it clicked. He did know of one person that could help him. He sneaked out of his sheets and walked to the forest. He laid down, the cold air of the night brushing over him, he couldn’t care, all he could do was stare at her. She was all out today, shining in the sky like she was  meant  to do. Sokka couldn’t help but let out a smile, but it got lost as he thought more about it.

“Hey. It’s Sokka again!” He said, his tone a little on the joking side, “So um yeah, I just needed to talk. About what had been going on recently.” He let out a sigh, looking dow on the grown on which he was laying, “I keep seeing you in my dreams. I like to think that it’s because you’re trying to talk to me, or send me a message maybe? But whatever it is, I appreciate seeing your face again, even if I’d rather it would be in another scenario. I’ll never forget about it, your face I mean, not the nightmares really. Just- I’m sorry I-m just talking, you know me.” He paused, and somehow he waited for an answer.

“Anyway, I’m here to talk about Zuko. You probably hate him and I understand why because he is in a way responsible for you being turned into a spirit. But you see, I can’t bring myself to hate him. I just can’t. He makes me feel things, and I like those things! I’ve felt that way before, with you. And with Suki too.” He let out a snort, “Yeah, don’t talk to me about it. But, the thing I felt for you two, I also feel it with him. It’s whatever he will do that’ll make me unconditionally think about how perfect he is, in a way.” He kept staring, smiling to her as she smiled back.

“So hum yeah. I don’t know what to do now, because I think-“ He rubbed his face with his palm, “Is it even  _normal_ to like guys? I never liked one before, I didn’t even know I could! Not that I hate it, I just don’t know if it’s  _okay_ .” 

Because was it really? He never saw two boys holding hands, or kissing, or just being like boys and girls. He didn’t know it was even possible to be attracted to them in  that  way, the same way he could with girls. Not only that, but for  Zuko  too? Out of all the people he knew, he picked on Zuko to have a crush on.

_Crush_ . It had only hit him now. Ever since their first sparing match here at the temple, Sokka  knew  he felt something. He just hadn’t realized it yet, that what he had been feeling was something a little bit more than friendship.

He looked up to her again, sparkles in his eyes as he spoke, “I still don’t know if it’s okay, but I know that I like him.” He could hear her laugh and feel her smile through the cracks of the moon. She was still as beautiful as the first day they met, “Thanks Yue.” 


	6. And what if I sang?

Sokka didn’t remember having so many dreams before. Other than the few nightmares two or three times a week, he barely had any dreams that were actually bearable. When it happened, he simply forgot them and moved on with his day. But not today. His brain -or maybe Yue- had decided to make him dream about no one else but Zuko.

And now there he was, sitting there, his brain completely fried and Katara looking at him as if he came from space. “You okay there?” She had asked him over and over with barely a head nod from him. So she gave up, saying that she will be practicing a bit of waterbending in her usual spot if he needed her for anything. 

He played the dream over and over again. Still unable to process the fact that he had possibly one of the  best  dream of his life and it was all about Zuko. He remembered a hand, Zuko’s hand, very delicate as it was placed on Sokka’s cheek. His golden eyes, hidden between strands of dark hair. His own fingers, removing the hair from his face and looking at him as if it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. And it was though.

He blinked, suddenly the dream was gone, but the feeling was still there. He felt his throat get drier and his hands more moist. Fuck he was stupid. Yue had helped him sorting out his feelings about Zuko last night, but that was about it. His brain rot hadn’t stopped and worse, he still didn’t know if it was  _normal_ to like a guy.

“Hey there Snoozles.” 

“Nothing!” Sokka jumped.

Toph let out a laugh, “Woah there I didn’t know I was  that  scary, thanks.” Sokka groaned, “Anyways, I was thinking we could go walk in the forest? I’m kind of bored.”

“Sure why not?” Sokka shrugged.

They walked to the forest. He didn’t really know what was Toph looking for, she wasn’t exactly the type to just ask to go on a walk like that. But whatever, as long as it helped him take his mind off Zuko. 

Unless that didn’t work. Because now he was thinking about that part of his dream where Zuko was laughing. He didn’t remember  what  he was laughing about but he remember the sound being one of the most beautiful thing he had ever heard before, he wanted it as his lullaby to go to sleep. He wanted to kiss his laugh, or maybe kiss the lips where the laugh came from-

“What are you thinking about?” 

“What?” Once again Toph snatched him off of his thoughts. 

“We were just talking and suddenly you stopped answering.” He really did that? Rude.

“Oh uh yeah, sorry.” Sokka said, blushing.

“You miss Zuko don’t you.”

Well damn, she was good at this for a twelve year old, “Maybe.”

“Yeah I guessed. Where were you last night? I felt you leaving and then coming back a few hours later.” They stopped walking, Toph emerging two seats out of the ground once again.

They both sat down. It was weird, so many conversations with Toph about  love, unusual really. He who thought he would be annoying with it, “I went to talk to Yue.” He said. Before remembering that Toph had no idea who Yue was, “She was my first girlfriend, she uh, turned into the moon.”

“Well damn okay. Did she answer?” She snorted.

“Very funny.” He said sarcastically, a small grin on his face, “She didn’t but still, I could feel her presence as I spoke to her.”

“What did you tell her?” 

Well uh, he wasn’t sure he wanted to tell Toph about everything that had been said. She did know about his crush for Zuko though. She was the one pointing it out, and she knew even before Sokka himself was aware.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to you know.” She continued.

“Well, I did ask her if it was normal to like guys.” Sokka said, rubbing his neck.

“What did she say?” Toph answered, he wasn’t sure if she was teasing or serious.

“She didn’t say anything.” 

“Do you think it’s normal?” Toph asked.

“That’s literally my question here Toph.” 

“Well I don’t know okay! I’ve never felt anything for a guy before. I’m just trying to help.” She said, throwing her arms in the air.

He shrugged. They got up and looked for wood in order to start a fire for later.

* * *

It was getting tiring, not being around Zuko. He didn’t really know how he used to do it before he joined the group _literally_ four days ago . Maybe because he had Aang? Yeah but he didn’t like Aang the same way he liked Zuko, ew. He laid down on the ground as Katara was rambling about some stuff.

He clearly wasn’t listening when she asked for his approval and all he could think about as an answer was, ‘I don’t think the whole thing was a bad idea, just that the execution kinda sucked.’ and that had left her with a satisfied nod. Whatever they were ‘talking’ about he surely had luck with that answer.

He thought about Zuko again, the dream he had. He remember everything being a like peach colour. It was dancing on Zuko’s pale skin like the shade was  made  for him. Sokka? He didn’t know what he looked like but the way Zuko looked at him, he was sure that he didn’t look too bad either. They were holding hands, and their face grew closer and closer until Sokka could feel Zuko’s breath on his face and then-

“So yeah I think it was completely dumb that they made  her  be the maid instead of Shinu!” Katara finished, her eyes on Sokka.

“Wait are you seriously still rambling about that book you’ve read?” 

“And what about it? I’m still pissed at that ending.” She grumbled.

“Okay fine. I agree, ‘Mist and Powers’  was  dumb. But it’s like a hundred year old play turned into a book for teens that have nothing to do but fantasize about love!”  Well then maybe Sokka should look into it .

“You’re right, I’m just still bitter at that ending too.” she said, slapping her forehead, “She shouldn’t have ended up marrying the firebender!”  _Wait what _, “The earth kingdom dude was way better!”

Okay now Sokka was lost a little. So he nodded and Katara sighed, understanding that maybe she was going a little too much into details that Sokka had little interest in.

“When do you think they’ll be back?” He asked.

She bent down and slammed two rocks against each other in order to make the fire “I don’t know. As long as Zuko didn’t murder him.” 

Sokka rolled his eyes, “I just hope it’s soon because you’re getting  very  boring.” He received a punch on his shoulder, “Ouch! What was that for?”

“You deserve it.” She smirked and put the rice in the pot, “I’ve noticed that you spend a lot of time with Zuko.”

Oh now he was done for. Lucky him she couldn’t detect lies like Toph, but as his sister she was quite close, “Yeah uh... I have been.”

“What do you guys do?” She asked. Why was she so interested anyways?

”Well we spar. He teaches me how to use the sword better.” 

“I didn’t know he was a master swordsman.” She answered, “Should’ve stuck to that instead of firebending it would have saved us more time.”

He sighed and rolled his eyes. She was probably never going to leave it, so why not get used to it. A thought immediately crossed his mind, ‘ _Would she hate me if me and Zuko dated_?’ well that was if Zuko wanted to date him. Did he? Fuck, well now he was stuck with another dilemma. He hadn’t crossed his mind yet about what he would do with his crush. Maybe it’ll pass? Probably, that’s what he was hoping for at least. 

* * *

Today was not the day his crush would go away. Sokka spent the rest of his afternoon thinking. It was something he actually needed to do for once, just sit back and do nothing. A little like what Toph had said he needed to do. Neutral chin or something like that, earthbending stuff.

He tried his best not to think too much about his dream, how perfect Zuko looked like. How Zuko’s fingers locked with his own, how his smile was just so perfect that he just could’ve stolen a kiss from it. Because he did. And that was what made Sokka’s head spin a little faster. Of course he knew that he liked Zuko. But to the point where he wanted to kiss him? Well, wasn’t that just a normal thing to do when you liked someone? Somehow Sokka’s brain was broken and all that because of a dream. 

What was he going to do once Zuko came back? Of course, he hoped that his feelings would go away the second he saw him. He hoped that somehow his brain was just playing tricks and he wasn’t actually liking Zuko. Maybe he just missed him so much that he thought he liked him? That didn’t explain everything he had said to Yue. 

So, as the one who was known in the team for being a strategist, he needed a plan. He needed to write things down and sort everything out. He needed to make a list, _of course_. He grabbed a pencil, a bit of paper, and then went to the sparing spot. This way he knew that if anyone walked on him he had the time to hide everything and play it cool. He went to sit in the middle of the room. Laying everything down and then let out a deep breath. He couldn’t believe that that was where he was right now, trying to make up a plan for what to do about his feelings. He never had to do that before, it was pretty obvious that when he liked someone, he liked someone. So he’d ask them out and then that was it, usually it even ended in a kiss. 

Well, _usually_ , which was once.

Now he was making a list, with pros and cons. The downgrade really. He started with what he liked about Zuko;

_ -Hair-Nose-Eyes (they’re golden)-Mouth (and when he smiles too, and his laugh) _

_ -Hands (?)-Voice-Stories-The way he teaches me stuff-He can keep me warm _

Well he sure could write more, but he decided that it would be enough for now. Next was the pros and cons of liking Zuko;

_ Pros: he is nice, i like him a lot, he can teach me swords _

_ Cons: Katara will hate me, maybe it’s not normal? _

That resumed it. Well, he didn’t really know how those could help him trying to figure something out. He sighed and laid back on the ground. He needed to know what to do once Zuko was going to be back, and what to do if his crush didn’t go away. He could always play it cool and pretend that it’s nothing, he could, or maybe he could try to jump in his arms and kiss him.

No, this wasn’t going to work either. He sighed once again, maybe he’ll see then what he would do. Maybe for once, he didn’t need a plan and just needed to wait.

* * *

Everyone was asleep. Everyone except Sokka, obviously. He couldn’t find a way to sleep, whatever he would do his brain would go back to dad or Zuko, and neither of those two things he wanted to think about. He grumbled for the fifth time, turning over on his side. Why couldn’t he sleep? It wasn’t  _Sokka-like_ to randomly have too many thoughts to fall asleep.

If only Zuko was there so that they could talk until both of them were too tired to keep the conversation going. Well that was another thought about him, one of a little too many thank you. He thought about going back to Yue, maybe she could help once again. She could give him some sweet melatonin and then he would just fall right into the best rest of his life. So he got up and headed for the forest, walking right past Zuko’s room. He stopped. Maybe he could go in?

The bed was made, his pillow and blanket had been left there. He probably didn’t think that they would spend more than a day away, Sokka snorted. He entered the room, making sure to close the door behind him. It also smelled a bit like Zuko in there. There was a window (or more like a huge hole) in the bedroom, leaving enough air go in and out. Still, it kind of smelled like wood and fire. 

Suddenly, it catched up to him. He was in Zuko’s room, standing there. Alone. Without anyone even knowing that he was in there including Zuko himself. Should he feel bad? Should he leave? Well if he had to leave then he was very bad at it. He sat on the bed, letting out a huge sigh. Maybe he shouldn’t be in there. What if Toph catches him? Even worse, what if Katara found him the next morning, laying in Zuko’s bed. He thought about all of this and yet he still laid down. 

Now on his back, breathing loudly as he tried to not think about it too much. This was creepy, he shouldn’t be out there sleeping in other peoples bedroom. Even less when it’s your crush. He still closed his eyes and let the cold breeze touch his skin. He was quite comfortable even. His eyelids felt heavier, slowly blinking. He could feel his whole body relax, and he fell asleep.

* * *

He was warm. Not hot, _warm_. He could feel his entire heart get hotter into his chest, warming up his entire body, down to the tip of his nose. He felt his cheeks turn red, he didn’t know how tho, nothing was happening. A hand. It took his, smoothly. Suddenly the warmth was doubled. He felt good. Very very good.

_Eyes_. Blue met gold. Gold melted into blue. Now it was the most beautiful mix of colour Sokka had ever seen. He couldn’t stop meeting the others eyes. The more the time passed the more he could feel them dive deeper into his, never letting go either.

_Mouth_. He felt a mouth pressed against his and then blue stopped meeting gold. Because they both had their eyes closed. Because they both were pressed against one another. Nothing breaking them. The warmth going through his entire body once again. His cheeks felt flushed. His stomach was turned, butterflies dancing in it.

The hand moved to his face, cupping it. It was delicate, as if the hand was so light. Sokka’s hand moved to the hip. Pulling them closer and closer. The kiss was now messier. Going faster and faster as if it was the last time they were ever going to kiss.

Because it was. Sokka felt warm. _Too warm_. Too hot. Burning. He felt like burning. He felt his hand burn first, then his chest, his heart and lastly his mouth. He opened his eyes. It was too hot. Burning. He screamed and fell, shielding his eyes. He pushed himself away from the fire. Dragging his body on the white floor. _White_. White because the light was too strong. 

“SOKKA!”Katara screamed. 

Fuck. He was so far now. He was so far he was afraid he couldn’t help her. He got up. He got up and ran. He ran, he ran as if his own life depended on it. He couldn’t find her. She was gone. “Sokka!” No _she wasn’t_. Not yet. He had to find. He needed to find her. He ran. He was so close. His skin burned. He felt so hot, he could melt. 

He found her. She was there, slowly melting. Slowly but surely. _Wait_. He looked. It wasn’t Katara. _Mom_. It was Kya, it was mom. “Mom!” He had to scream. His face lightened up. Finally, he could see mom again. Wait. He looked. It wasn’t mom. It wasn’t Kya. _Yue_. No. It wasn’t. _Suki_. No it wasn’t. _Zuko_?  


Yes it was.

* * *

The moon reflected on his face, sweat dripping down his temple. Fuck, did he seriously sleep in there? That wasn’t his plan. He slapped his damp forehead, mumbling the words ‘idiot’ as he did so. At least no one had found him there and it was still the middle of the night. So plenty of time to go back to the others and fall right back to sleep.

Unless he didn’t want to go back to the others.

He didn’t want to stay there either however. The place wasn’t the same comforting space without Zuko. He sighed and got up, making the bed before leaving the room. He didn’t know where to go now. Certainly not back to camp. Maybe he could go spar? Maybe not, it would probably be too much noise and his mind was already out of it anyway. So he kept walking around the temple as he tried to find a place to go.

The air was even colder on his skin with the sweat that had stuck on him during his nightmare. Swim. He could go swimming in the lake, it wasn’t too far from there and it would help him freshen up. Good, so now he headed to the lake.

He had never been so excited to take a swim, at least not that he can remember. When he finally arrived it took him less than a minute to be dressed down to his underwear only and jump into the icy cold water. He had forgotten about the stings poking his skin, letting out a small wince as he floated into the water. He eventually got used to the temperature, letting himself move across the lake. 

He laid on his back, floating around and letting himself get lost into his brain. His eyes were closed, he felt great. His mouth was a little grinned, and he was mumbling a song from back home. He felt safe. His ears under water, only hearing the mumbles of the song, he felt happy.

He remembered his mom. Her hand through his hair as she sang. He had forgotten her face over the years, replacing it with the image of his sister. Her voice though, that he will never forget it. He could hear her sing, meanwhile he mumbled. He let himself float to the sound of her spirit blessed voice, his eyes picturing her fingers combing his hair. The water didn’t really feel like water anymore. More like a lap, his mom’s, and he was just in there. As if he was six again, he forgot his problems. His doubts, his thoughts. His nightmares. 

He opened his eyes again, letting a few tears escape. He was alone, in the middle of the lake at night. Only the moon was watching over him. The singing stopped. Now he was looking at her again. For the second day in a row. He didn’t smile, he didn’t speak. He could hear her sing too. He had never heard Yue sing before, but he knew what it would sound like. Because now he was hearing it. And that was all he could hear for the rest of the night.

* * *

“Wake up lazy bean!”

The sun pierced into his eyes, almost blinding him. He grunted. Maybe he shouldn’t have went back to camp a hour before the sun was up, but anyways, it was done now.

“I told you to wake up! It’s your turn making breakfast and everyone’s waiting for you.” Katara said. He let out another groan, “Five seconds or else I’ll water whip your dumb dumb ponytail away!” 

He blinked and sat up. He slept with his ponytail? His head was going to hurt today and not just because of his lack of sleep, “Fine, fine I’m up.” He yawned.

The fire was already started, all he needed to do was cook the rice. He got up, his muscles felt like dough.

“You okay there?” Katara asked with concern at the sight of Sokka’s struggle to take the bag.

Sokka didn’t even think twice before answering, “I feel like shit.” 

“Here let me help.” She said as she walked over to him and took the bag in order to make the rice herself.

“You don’t have to, it’s my turn and you’re already doing enough.” Sokka said, lifting his finger.

“It’s alright. I guess you’re still sore because of that cart incident.” Oh yeah right. That cart incident that almost lead to his death. It wasn’t the reason why though, “Maybe we could try healing to see if it helps.”

Maybe it wasn’t a bad idea, if the reason why he felt like the unfried mini Aang had been because of Cartee. But he wasn’t quite sure that magic water could fix his lack of sleep, “Yeah I don’t think it’ll work, I just need a little rest.” 

“Are you sure?” She insisted.

He didn’t like that she acted worried, “Yeah I am sure.”

“Sokka are you okay?” He nodded, “Seriously.”

“I went to talk to Yue last night, no biggie.” He shrugged. 

The look on her face softened, like she somehow understood what Sokka was talking about.

Her hand dropped on his shoulder. He looked at it, then back at her eyes who were filed with actual concern. He didn’t really like seeing his little sister like that. She obviously had more things to sorry about rather than Sokka’s sob stories and yet she worried for them. Her thumb began stroking his shoulder, her eyes into his as the water boiling behind them was left ignored. Sokka wanted to trust her, he really did, but he wasn’t sure of how she’d react. Instead he leaned in and hugged her. She hugged him back and he melted in the familiar arms, tears slowly rolling down his cheeks. “I’m sorry.” He whispered.

Katara was now rubbing his back, like their mom would do when one of them got hurt, “What are you sorry for?” She replied.

“Failing during the invasion.” He said back almost automatically.

“Oh Sokka.” She pulled away from him but kept her hands on both his shoulders, looking at him with genuine eyes, “You have nothing to apologize for. You did the most that you could and I’m proud of you for that.”

He got caught in his tears, “But dad-“

“Dad is fine, I know it. Everyone knew what could happen if we failed, it was a risk to take.” She interrupted, her tone still comforting. He didn’t answer, he knew all that already. It didn’t change the fact that it happened. “Sokka. We’re all proud of you, really. If it didn’t work this time then it’s because it wasn’t meant to happen.”

He nodded and she gave him a small but genuine smile before turning back in order to cook the rice.

Not long after she was done, Katara called the others in order to eat. They all ate, listening to Toph’s rambling and Haru talking back at her, all that mixed with the others laughs. For a moment, Sokka felt actually content. Like all of his thoughts and emotions about the past days had been just and illusion all along. He let himself laugh at Katara’s remarks, answer to Teo’s ideas and pay attention to Toph and Haru throw each other small rocks from the other side of the fire. Sokka smiled, genuinely.

“Hey there everybody!”

Katara’s face lit up, “Aang!”

Zuko stood beside him, looking at Katara jump into Aang’s arms. Slowly, his eyes fell on Sokka, and a smile drew on his face. 

And now his thoughts were back.


	7. I trust you too

“Yeah that was a great dance you two learned there.”

“It’s not a dance. It’s a firebending form.”

Sokka moved his fingers in a dancing manner as he watched Zuko frown, “We’ll just tap-dance our way to victory over the fire lord.” 

“It’s a sacred form that happens to be thousands of years old!” He replied.

“Oh yeah? What’s your little form called?” Katara grins.

Zuko drops his head in embarrassment, “The dragon dance.”

They all laugh, including Aang who had been performing the dance with him a few minutes ago. Zuko keeps his head low but Sokka knows he’s trying not to laugh. Sokka’s happy to see them again, both intact  and  firebenders. 

“I’m kind of tired, the past few days have been pretty much sleepless.” Zuko explained, “So uh, I’m going to take a nap. Excuse me.” He bowed and left for his room quickly.

“Wow I didn’t think the whole dance thing would be  _that_ embarrassing for him.” Katara said, Aang shrugged, “Anyway, Aang. We could do some waterbending if you’d like.” 

“Sure.” He answered with enthusiasm before following Katara out of the room.

Sokka was now alone again. Though he wanted to see Zuko, ever since he had left and then Sokka realized some stuff. Could he go and see him? Or at least try to talk before he’d be too deep in his nap. Maybe he could go after? Well he could, but he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to wait for Zuko to wake up. 

He groaned. If only he didn’t have this _stupid_ crush on this _stupid_ boy then he wouldn’t be knocking at his door with his heart pounding loudly in his chest. He knocked a second time, maybe Zuko didn’t hear the first knock. He didn’t hear the second either then, because no noise could be heard from the other side of the wooden door. Sokka sighed, it was dumb anyways and maybe it was just a sign of the universe that he and Zuko shouldn’t talk right now. Maybe Yue was somewhere, telling him to turn around and-

“Sokka?” He heard behind him.

Oh, so Zuko  did  hear him. Good, he had now once again lost his tongue. He turned around to face the firebender, trying to maintain himself in order not to blush at the thought of Zuko saying only his name.

“Do you need anything?” He said, noticing that Sokka hadn’t answered.

_I need you Zuko_ , “ Nope. Nothing, I just came by to uh... take some news? But you’re clearly busy so uh. I’ll leave you to it.” He blurted out.

“We can talk, if you want.” 

“Are you sure? Because you said you were gonna take a nap and I don’t want to disturb you or any-“

Zuko interrupted him, “Sokka. Just come in.” And Sokka let out a deep breath.

He entered the room and Zuko closed the door behind them before he went and sat down on the bed, Sokka still standing there like he was somehow frozen. How did he never notice how pretty Zuko was? Well no, _lies_.

He knew Zuko was pretty for a long time now, he hated to admit it but it was true, but now- now he was simply  flawless . The way his dark hair covered the top of his face, his eyes which even if they kind of looked a little tired still had that kind of flame in them. His mouth, _so_ kissable. His scar. If Sokka didn’t know any better he would’ve said that it was ugly. But even without knowing its backstory he found it beautiful, like it somewhat  belonged  on Zuko’s face, like it was just a part of who he was. He wanted to know more, _know_ about who Zuko  really  was. Not just stories about training with Pandiao. And he wanted Zuko to _know_ who Sokka was too.

“Care to lay down?” Zuko said, stripping Sokka out of his thoughts. Fuck. For how long had he been staring at Zuko like that? Did it creep him out?

He nodded and laid down beside Zuko. His heart was beating. I mean, it was _always_ beating but now, it was beating like a little too fast for it to be  not concerning. He could feel Zuko’s warmth spread on the bed, it felt almost suffocating. 

They spent a moment in silence, simply staring at the ceiling. Zuko had one hand behind his head, the other one was laying beside him. Sokka’s hands were on his stomach, trying not to take too much space as the bed wasn’t so large either. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable, not at all. Sokka liked it. He wanted to be in this moment forever, the warmth, the silence, peace. For a moment the whole world stopped and he felt like he was in a dream. Not any dream though,  _the_ dream. The one where he kisses Zuko and Zuko kisses back.

The silence broke, “What did you do while we were gone?” Zuko asked.

_Well I talked to my ex girlfriend the moon, figured out that I liked you and other than that, I’ve had dreams where we kiss,_ “I built a cart and almost died.”

Zuko chuckled, “What?” 

“I built the fastest race cart ever and named her Cartee. Then me, Haru, Teo and The Duke raced down the tunnel that goes to the Statue Hall except that the breaks didn’t work so Katara had to save me from falling off a cliff.” Sokka said.

“So I leave for one day and you almost die?” Zuko joked.

_Yeah, I almost died from not seeing you_ ,  “Yeah yeah. I also did your exercises. You have a lot of creativity when it comes to making up different versions of squats.”

Zuko laughed,  _so fucking cute,_ “Thank you, it means a lot coming from you.”

Sokka’s brain shut off for a quick second.  Coming from ‘ _him_ ’ ? What did that even mean? Maybe he was simply joking, he must’ve been. Sokka needed to stop over analyzing everything. But still. 

He dropped his hand on his side, lightly brushing Zuko’s. Their hands were now pressed against each other, back to back. Zuko didn’t flinch.

“What did you guys do except for learning that little dance?” Sokka teased.

“Very funny.” Zuko answered sarcastically, “We met some dragons.”

Sokka sat up, almost automatically, “You guys WHAT?” He said, looking down at Zuko who was still laying down and smiling.

“Yea, we danced for them and they taught us how to firebend. Well, not actually. Just from where firebending  comes  from.” 

Sokka laid back down, carefully replacing his hand where it was before, “So does it comes from a volcano?” 

“Shut up.” Zuko said, bumping his hand against Sokka’s, and also leaving it there afterwards. Sokka blushed and tried his best not to scream at the top of his lungs. Or worse, hold Zuko’s hand, who’s back was pressing on Sokka’s hand like, a little _too_ hard. “It actually helped me understand myself. Like a lot.” Zuko explained, staring at the ceiling, “I used to fuel my bending on rage when instead the true way is with... love.” _Oh_. 

After a moment of silence, Sokka answered, “So now you’ll firebend hearts instead of fire?” He joked, and Zuko chuckled.

They went back into silence, both of them starring at the ceiling again. They were so close. Their hands pressed against each other, Zuko’s warmth making the whole room feel like it was on fire. Except that it wasn’t. And it didn’t  feel  like it was actual fire, more like the kind of fire that warms you up when you’re cold. The type of fire they would do when they went to sleep. The kind of fire that was in the center of their house back home. The type of fire that Sokka felt in his dreams. Where it was all pink and pretty. Where he and Zuko were simply there, staring in each other.

He wanted to  _know_ Zuko.

“Hey.” He said, turning his head to face him.

Zuko turned completely in order to face him, “Hey.”

So Sokka did the same. They were _so_ close.  _Too_ close . If he somehow tripped Sokka was sure he would end up on Zuko’s mouth. He wasn’t completely opposed to it however. Zuko’s breath was on him too. Could he breathe fire? Because he was sure that he could light up Sokka’s shirt in less than a minute if he wanted to. 

He wanted to keep staring in Zuko’s eyes, if he could he would and  forever . One question was burning his tongue however, “How did you get your scar?” 

Zuko looked down. Staring at his hand who was once again dropped in front of him. Mistake. Big fucking huge enormous mistake. It wasn’t Sokka’s place to ask and yet he did. Maybe he ruined everything? And now everything that they had built was destroyed because of his dumb-

“My father.” Zuko said, watching his fingers play with the bedsheets, “I spoke out of turn. I was trying to save innocent lives and he punished me for it.”

“Oh, Zuko.” Sokka said softly, and instinctively took Zuko’s free hand into his, “I’m sorry.”

Zuko didn’t look up, he was fixated on Sokka’s hand holding his, “It’s okay really.”

“Did it-“

“-Hurt? Yea it did. But I don’t remember most of it. Only me closing my eyes and then it was all white. I woke up and i was still on the stage, humiliated in front of hundreds of people.” Silent tears started dripping from his eyes. Sokka squeezed Zuko’s hand, “I used to have nightmares about it.”

“What did you see?” 

“Fire. And then my dad standing tall in front of me, his hand raised above me and then it’s all black and I wake up.” Zuko fell silent, and so did Sokka.

After a minute of silence, this time a little less comfortable, Zuko freed his hand from Sokka, “Can I do something?” 

“Yeah.” Sokka breathed, his heart racing faster than Cartee was.

Zuko took Sokka’s hand back in his, sending shivers down Sokka’s spine. His touch was something else. Something he had never felt before and that he never wanted to stop feeling either.  


He brought Sokka’s hand on his scarred cheek and dropped it carefully. Sokka’s eyes widened at the touch of Zuko’s scar. It felt rough under his fingers. He didn’t mind though. He simply tried to memorize the moment, the action. Zuko’s hand still holding Sokka’s, like he was afraid to let go.

Zuko’s golden eyes fell on Sokka again, and he smiled, “I trust you Sokka.” 

“I trust you too Zuko.”

* * *

He woke up and the sun was almost down. The boy in front of him was still sleeping peacefully under his palm. Both had fallen asleep not long after their statement, so Sokka didn’t move his hand from Zuko’s scarred cheek, and Zuko’s hand was still holding his.

He looked so incredibly pretty it made Sokka’s heart ache. His eyes were shut just perfectly, long and thick eyelashes falling on his cheeks. The way his hair fell all over his face, his forehead. His snoring was so quiet that it couldn’t even  be  considered snoring, but Sokka was so focused on admiring him that he could hear it. 

Zuko’s palm was hot on his. His  whole  body was as warm as his hand. Except for his scar that felt somehow cold under Sokka’s fingers. He brushed his thumb over it, stroking gently on his cheek. He could feel every crack, every wrinkle. He found it beautiful. The more his hand was on the scar the more he wanted to kiss it. He felt Zuko’s breath itch and his hand squeezed harder on Sokka’s. His eyebrow frowned and-

_Fuck_. He was having a nightmare. There was a list of things that Sokka wasn’t trained to do. Knowing what to do when someone was experiencing a nightmare figured on it. He felt himself panic a little, his chest tightened. He wasn’t going to wake him up was he? Wouldn’t that just cause more harm than good? No, that was for sleepwalkers. So maybe he could try to wake him up. But how though?

He wasn’t just going to scream his name. Better not startle him if he didn’t want to end up grilled like a porkcow. He could tickle him? No, again, bad idea. Just shake him a little and whisper his name. So he did. And when Zuko woke up, his forehead beaded with sweat and his eyes wide, Sokka jumped into his arms. 

“Fuck dude are you okay?” He asked, pulling away from Zuko, keeping his hand on his left shoulder. 

Zuko was panting, and for a second Sokka thought he had broke him. Maybe not waking someone up didn’t only apply to sleepwalking. But then Zuko catched his breath and spoke, “Nightmare. I’m okay.” He was staring blankly at Sokka’s chest, but he sure wasn’t  actually  looking at it. Sokka knew that Zuko was into his thoughts and that his mind was simply rushing. 

“What was it about?” Sokka asked, concerned. Maybe a little too much because Zuko excused himself briefly and left the room.

Was it the hug? It was probably the hug. Fuck. Sokka slapped his forehead and fell back on the bed on which they had both been sitting on after Zuko abruptly woke up. He knew that it was it. He did know more about Zuko now, but he still didn’t know if he was more of a physical guy, and now he felt dumb. He felt like he once again had made Zuko uncomfortable with his impulse. He felt terribly bad. Maybe he could try and apologize? Or maybe he should just wait and go on a little with the rest of his day and try to forget about it. 

No, he wasn’t that much of an asshole. 

He got off the bed, putting his shoes, and then headed for where he could hear voices. None sounded like Zuko and, logically speaking, Sokka wasn’t sure Zuko would go socialize after he just had a nightmare. So he bothered to take a look inside the main room. He only found Aang and Katara chatting, so he left them to that. He didn’t want to be in the middle of their * _oogies_ * awful kiss sessions. Even if he knew that they weren’t officially  together  together, Sokka wasn’t blind. He knew they both crushed for each other, Katara had talked to him about the kiss right before the invasion. 

Anyway, this wasn’t about them, this was about Zuko. He walked around the temple, trying to find something or someone that could lead him to Zuko. He found nothing, even after asking a few people here and there. 

His mind was full. Too many thoughts were racing in his brain and it was too much for someone that had woken up less than a hour ago. He couldn’t stop thinking about Zuko hating him. Maybe they’ll never even speak again? Spirits this was so complicated for nothing. Sokka needed to get his mind off of it. He needed to breathe, to not feel like he was in the tiniest box ever and the air was limited.

Swords. He could practice a little bit of swording alone, just to relax, and then they would call to eat and he would see Zuko and sort things out. Okay perfect. 

So he went back to the main room, where all their stuff was. He hoped not to find his baby sister and his best friend kissing, or else he might just be too vocal about his disgust. He sighed. He was happy for them after all. Of course he didn’t want to  see them kissing, but they both really cared for each other. And it was pretty obvious that they had both been crushing for a while now. Whatever, as long as they’re happy. 

He took his sword, Katara warning him that diner will be served a little later since her, Aang and Toph went out earlier to get some more food. That explained why him and Zuko weren’t disturbed. That also meant new menu with maybe veggies and meat. Sokka’s mind wandered about the food that they’d be eating tonight. At least something to take his mind of Zuko for a while, or at least until he was at the training spot.

He drew his sword from the scabbard and positioned himself in order to attack his imaginary opponent. He breathed. A long, deep breath out of his nose and now he was rushing into the adversary. His mind was concentrated and ready for any hits. He bent down, jumped, stabbed. Everything and with a perfect posture and grip.

A second opponent. This one seemed more interesting so Sokka listened instead of attacking. Sokka was walking slowly, eyeing his non existent enemy. The one he’d have to defeat in order to get home. Then he rushed. And he used all of his strength for it. Making sure that he had a good grip and a good posture. If only Piandao could see him right now, he’d be proud at how much Sokka evolved and all that in a such short period of time. 

He pointed at some vital places that certainly would’ve had an impact on the enemy. With force, but not too much either, and precision. He was sure that he could’ve beaten a hundred men by now. 

He turned around for his next opponent, only to find himself very  very  close to Zuko, who hadn’t even flinched at the fact that Sokka -and his goddamn  space sword-  was only inches from from him. He gulped, and Zuko only answered with a grin before drawing his swords and then-

“I’m sorry for storming off earlier.” Zuko said, at a reasonable distance from Sokka and ready to rush.

“It’s okay I understand. I’m sorry for jumping into your arms like that... it was some sort of reflex.” Sokka apologized, himself also ready to attack or defend.

“It was about you.” 

Sokka barely had time to process the information that the other swordsman was already spinning his swords at him. Why would he even have a dream, no- _a nightmare_ , about Sokka?Did that mean that Zuko thought about him that much? Well maybe then Zuko  did  like him. But there was also a lot to point out that Zuko  didn’t  like him. He’d have to make yet another list, later.

“We were swimming and then you disappeared and I couldn’t find you.” Zuko continued. His right sword almost hit Sokka, but lucky him he had time to block it. 

Sokka pushed it back and now he was the one attacking, “I had a dream about you too. You were in flames though. Well not  yourself  yourself but like, you were in the middle of it.” He hadn’t planned on saying that to Zuko, but he did. 

After a few strikes Zuko answered, “Notice how it’s both technically our elements?” One other hit, and Sokka had him on the floor. Both were panting loudly, Sokka had a triumphant smirk on his face, “What about it?” He said .

“Didn’t you say that opposites attract?” Zuko answered with another grin and  fuck . Sokka felt like he could pass out right then and there. 

The way the sun was almost completely out now, only leaving a small pink undertone on Zuko’s pale skin. The way his whole face was structured, and his arms too. The way they were in that same  goddamn  position again, Zuko in between Sokka’s knees. This time though, time didn’t stop. Sokka could feel the seconds pass, slowly yet quickly transforming into minutes. It was silent except for both of their panting that had since calmed down into simply into heavy breathing. 

Sokka would’ve gotten out. He was also sure that Zuko would like to stand on his feet again. Yet no one was saying anything. Just blue getting mixed with gold and then a pool of unspeakable words. Then Sokka leaned in. And for a good second Zuko was too. Hot breaths adding on each other until-

“Guys!” They both jumped away from each other at the sound of the incoming voice, “Guys! I’ve been calling you two for three minutes now. Just come and eat!” The Duke said while just standing at the door. They nodded and he left.

Both didn’t add anything after that. Brushing off wrinkles from their clothes and then taking their swords and heading for diner.  _Almost_ nothing happened and yet Sokka felt so flushed. His cheeks particularly felt like they’d be stomped by a thousand komodorhinos. His stomach felt like it had been turned upside down and made into a stew. His fingers -who had been holding Zuko- felt like dough. His head was spinning around and around and thoughts were racing. Even if he felt blank when he sat down next to Aang, Zuko facing him from the other side of the fire.

Sokka had been right, earlier on, when he thought that today wasn’t going to be the day his crush would pass away. Because even if it somehow felt  wrong  to look at Zuko now, he still enjoyed it. He was still loving the way the light of the fire was brushing over his skin. His dark black hair falling on his face. Funny how less than a year ago he had it shaved and a part put up in some funky ponytail. Then Sokka wondered what did Zuko look like in a ponytail  now . I probably didn’t look the same, duh, but it was an interesting thought that Sokka had. Maybe one day he could help Zuko do his hair, for whatever event. He could picture his fingers surfing through the dark waves and then put them up in a pretty topknot, or maybe even a braid. 

He was stripped out of his thoughts when Aang tapped on his shoulder and passed him his bowl of food. He was right earlier on, the menu was way more varied than usual. they had packed up on rice, obviously, but also some vegetables and some meat for the next few days. Katara had started cooking them already so that they would last longer than if they stayed ‘fresh’. His stomach made a pretty huge sound at the view of the bowl, which made him realized that he had only ate once today. He hurried to eat, with the look of disgust and disapproval from Katara. 

His eyes now only focused on his food and the exterior conversation completely blurry, he finally had some time to think about what had just happened before The Duke barged in. Or worse -better- what could’ve happened. Sokka was sure that for a second, or maybe two and if he was lucky three, Zuko was  actually  going to kiss him back. Maybe if the kid didn’t interrupt they probably would’ve kissed. 

Or maybe Zuko would’ve slapped him some sense and they wouldn’t have kissed. He growled into his bowl, his mouth still half full. 

Maybe he could ask Zuko if he wanted to kiss him? Just come over after diner and ask if he wanted to crash his lips into Sokka’s, like good friends would simply ask around. No, that would’ve been weird. Perhaps he could try to be in the same position again and then they would kiss. Once again, that would be weird. What could he even do then?

_Spirits_ , since when was everything so complicated? The worst part was that Zuko was now looking at him from the other side of the flames. Like he was trying to read him or something. Sokka looked back, daring to meet the golden eyes hidden behind the element they could control. The gaze was intense, a little too much even because when Zuko frowned Sokka could feel the warmth of the fire as if it was getting inside  of his muscles.

Then- “Sokka? What, did the rattlecat eat your tongue?” Toph laughed, “We’ve been calling your name for a while now, almost got bored.”

Katara looked at him with a little concern, right, the conversation they had earlier probably didn’t help with the way she thinks of him right now. “We were saying that you missed the best street performance ever! We even got to scam some people.” Toph continued.

Then Zuko’s gaze left and Sokka felt a cold breeze go over him, “Yeah.” He said, his voice low and eyes still on Zuko. 

They finished eating and helped clean everything before Sokka went back to the sparing spot. He was relieved to see that Zuko didn’t follow him, even if he wanted to continue what they had left off earlier. 

He grabbed a piece of paper and a pencil, and as usual he sat down in the middle of the room and started making a list. He wrote down:

_ Zuko likes me _

_ Zuko doesn’t like me _

Then after taking a look back at the way everything was written and being satisfied with it, he started writing the things that pointed out that Zuko  did  like him.

_ -He’s nice to me _

_ -He opens up  _

_ -Sometimes I catch him staring  _

_ -He maybe almost maybe kissed me maybe? _

Well, that probably helped just a tiny bit. Because yeah, Zuko was nice to him, but he was also not mean to everyone else. Apart from the opening up -and kiss- part, there wasn’t a lot of things that felt like it was exclusive to him. So now the list of why Zuko  did not  like him.

_ -He doesn’t like guys? _

_ -Maybe he’s just being nice and I’ _

“Ah ah!” Katara exclaimed from behind him. He screamed and quickly tried to hide the paper. With no success, as she took it from his hands and started to read. Or at least try, because the way she frowned her eyebrow at the writing was saying enough.

Sokka wanted to  die , quite literally. He wished that somehow a huge rock could fall on his head and then he’d pass out and he’d forget everything. He had his running away plan in his head, ready for execution at any moment now, and then Katara’s eyes dropped on him.

“Why do you think Zuko likes you?” She asked, still holding the paper to her reading level.

At that moment he wanted to maybe scream. He had no excuse, he was caught red handed and nothing could save him. Or maybe the rock causing him a memory blank could, he prayed. 

“Sokka?” She insisted, seeing that he didn’t answer.

“Well uh I think that he maybe uh...” He babbled. 

“Do you like Zuko?” Katara said.

Okay, now he had three choices; he could tell the truth, lie, or try to jump off the large window. He settled for the second one, “No I don’t!”

Katara gently dropped to her knees next to him and let go of the paper. Sokka quickly took it back and folded it before storing it in his shirt. She wasn’t saying anything, just her eyes on him and hand on his back. He considered the third option again.

“Sokka, you don’t have to answer this, but do you trust me?” She said, her voice low and reassuring.

“Of course I do! You’re my sister! You saved me and Aang countless of times and you’re like, one of the best waterbender out there.” He answered quickly, without even thinking about his words. Because he meant them.

She let a faint smile show on her face, “Okay then.” She said before falling silent. She was thinking, her eyebrows a little frowned, so Sokka didn’t say anything else, “Do you think you like... guys?”

“I think I do.” He answered, his tone matching Katara’s, “But like, I know I like girls too.” 

“That’s okay.” She replied, and Sokka was grateful for it.

Yet he had a question that was burning his tongue. One that he had been asking himself ever since he discovered that he did in fact like guys. So he dared to ask, “Is it normal to like... guys?”

She snorted, and for a second Sokka thought he had just asked the dumbest question of his entire life, “Of course it is dum dum.” She said and then he smiled, “So um... do you like Zuko?”

“I mean yeah! He drives me nuts! And I kinda hate him for it.” He said his tone a little higher. Then he remembered, and his voice went lower again, “Do you hate me for it?”

Katara hugged him. Her arms around his neck, and then he felt the tears fall off. He wasn’t sad, just happy. Like a huge cloud of doubt and shame had been removed from his shoulders. The rain that poured from it felt refreshing and cleansing. She whispered in his ear, like their mom would do when one of them was sad, “Zuko definitely isn’t my favourite person. But if my favourite person likes him, then I’m going to make an effort.” 

He almost choked in his tears as he chuckled, Katara snorting at the sound, “Thank you.”

She pulled away from the hug, but still her hands were on his shoulders and her eyes were piercing through his, “Sokka, I’m pretty sure that whatever you’l do I’ll never hate you for it. And I’m happy that you found another part of yourself.” 


	8. Have my back and I’ll have yours

Sokka woke up the next morning, his mind rested as well as his body. It was kind of late already, as there was no one else in the common space but him. So everyone must’ve went to their occupation for the day.

He didn’t have any nightmares, though he did have a dream about flying. He remembers being in the clouds, the wind brushing through his hair and the simple feeling of being free. There was nothing stoping him from breathing the fresh air and letting it stay in his lungs, nothing stoping him from screaming through the roof either. He felt great when he was flying, because even if he wasn’t completely in control, he still felt  okay  with it.

He was now eating a moonpeach that the others had bought from the market, meanwhile he contemplated the list of things he could do today. There were swords, spend time with Zuko, maybe ask Teo about another cart race and go swim in the lake. He judged that the two first things were obviously a priority and could be done at the same time, or even including the last thing which could be a fun thing to do. 

He finished his moonpeach and headed for the firebending spot in order to wait for Zuko to be done with his training and then they could head for their business. He grabbed his sword on his way. When he arrived, he was surprised to see Katara also waiting there, looking at the two boys training. 

“Hello there.” He said as he sat down beside her. She waved at him and gave him a bright smile, “Looking at your boyfriend?” He teased.

Katara rolled her eyes, “I could ask you the same question.” She said, grinning and looking pretty proud of her joke.

Sokka felt his cheeks turn the same colour of the peach he had just eaten and the look on Katara’s face did not help him from feeling the embarrassment. He frowned, only making her break into a vibrant laugh.

“You okay there?” Aang said, drawing his attention to them. Zuko also turned and looked at Sokka, but didn’t say anything and nor did his face.

“Yeah we’re fine. Katara just made an  hilarious  joke.” Sokka squinted back at Katara.

“What was it?” Aang asked.

Katara stopped laughing, her eyes full of tears. Suddenly she looked at Sokka, then back at Aang, and then back at Sokka who still had knifes in his eyes, “It’s was uh-  Be-bet  you couldn’t even do  that !” She said, a forced smile now on her face. Sokka was grateful nothing else got out.

“Not really funny.” Aang shrugged.

Zuko loudly sighed, “We don’t have time for jokes we need to keep going! Else you’ll never be able to defeat my father in time.” 

Well Sokka could just ask him now then, “Zuko could we practice after that?” 

“Sure. But go and get warmed up already. I’ll join you later.” He answered, and then went back to firebending.

Sokka shrugged and left for the sparing place. After their brief sparing session and diner, they haven’t gotten the chance to talk. And honestly, Sokka didn’t even know if he wanted to talk. Meanwhile yes, he did want to talk  to Zuko. About anything, like his day, his dreams, or just things they would usually talk about. But he didn’t want to have  _that_ talk yet, or maybe even ever? He sure could just sweep it under the rug and act like a best pal for the rest of their days. Eventually it would pass, and Sokka was a good actor -he thought- so yeah, no  need  for this conversation.

He removed his scabbard from his back and started the stretching. From the neck, then shoulders, to arms and legs without forgetting the ankles. 

He liked being around Zuko though, that he knew, even if it was just in a friendly way or if they would have to be in silence for a while. Because Sokka enjoyed the silence with him as much as he liked the moments where it was all chatter.

Sokka had always felt like he needed to talk. Always needed to fill up the silence between two people or more. Maybe it was in order to avoid things being awkward, or just plain weird. It took a while for him to get used to silent moments with the group. Katara was the only exception as they grew up together so of course sometimes it would be quiet, even if it didn’t last long.

But Zuko? A whole other story. Because he liked the way he could simply stare into his eyes and they would just  talk  like that. Or when only their breathing could be heard in between the quietness of the night. When they didn’t know what else there was to say so they laid down and talked in their silence. Those moments he enjoyed, and they came so quickly that Sokka didn’t even mind.

Now moving to the cardio. He did Zuko’s kind-of-dumb-made-up squat variations with a little bit of struggle. Now matter how many times he’d have to do these, he wasn’t sure he’ll ever be able to master them all without feeling like air didn’t exist anymore. He had a thought about Zuko doing the burpee pushup plank squat and wondered if he was even  that  good. Well, after a few seconds of really thinking about it, he probably was. Because Zuko was good at everything without even trying too hard.

He was ready to spar now. Only he needed Zuko in order to do so and he still wasn’t there. Sokka wondered if he should look for him maybe or just wait. His training with Aang was definitely over by now and he didn’t think that he would go wash himself before getting all sweaty again the second after. Sokka sighed and went back to the firebending spot only to find the place empty. So he was right, their lesson  was  over. He could always ask Katara and Aang if they knew where he went. However when he asked the question they didn’t have much of an answer.

He was about to give up when he saw the one he had been looking for by the corner of his eye. He was simply standing there, leaned on a pillar in one of the too many hallways this temple possessed. He didn’t look mad or anything, simply...  blazed .

“Spirits I was looking for you!!” Sokka said, walking toward him, “You told me to get ready and then you’d join me but you never came.” The tone in his voice wasn’t necessarily the sweetest, and Sokka surely tried his best not to snap at him like that.

“Sorry. We can spar now if you want.” Zuko simply said. 

Sokka wanted to hit him with a chair. “Sure. But I won’t go easy on you today.”

“As if you ever went hard.” Zuko snorted.

Sokka only rolled his eyes and they went back to where Sokka had been waiting for him about a hour ago. Zuko already had his swords, like he was ready to spar anytime and he had just avoided seeing Sokka. He made a mental note to try and not get offended by it.

Now standing at a reasonable distance from each other, their swords ready and their stance well balanced, they only waited for one of them to make a move. Sokka was surprised to see himself being the first one to throw the first hit, targeted at Zuko’s hip. The other teenager blocked it with his left sword, before pushing it back and then going after Sokka. 

Then it was sounds of steel against steel, _or space rock_ , each hit going harder and harder as Sokka felt himself going less and less gentle. He could see the flame in Zuko’s eyes, the way each of his movements was well calculated. Lucky for him he was good at maths because he reciprocated the same technique. Until it became like a dance. Each hit of their swords sounding like music. So they danced, on rhythm, and for a moment Sokka felt like he was meant to dance like this. Like everything suddenly belonged into place and he drawn into the moment.

He wondered for a minute if this was going to end into wrestling, like it usually would. And if it did what was he going to do about it. Because then in what felt like a second, the ocean of emotions that he had been trying to push down hit him like a wave. It hit him so hard, he wasn’t skilled enough of a sailor to be able not to sink. 

So he let himself drown.

Drown into his movements, drown into the water that was Zuko’s golden eyes. The dance that they were still pursuing slowly engulfing him and he tried- he tried his best not to sink too deep. 

Final hit and Zuko was on the ground, Sokka’s sword pointed at his face. They were both panting hard, and it was definitely the best match they had ever done. Sokka grinned and stored his sword away from Zuko’s face. He offered his hand in order to help his friend get up. 

Zuko couldn’t bend lightning, that he knew. He told Sokka about it once and how he had learned to redirect it and that one day he might show him how even if it would be little use to him. That night, Sokka had agreed to it and it was another thing that he was looking forward to doing with Zuko, another thing that they had promised each other in the middle of the stars when they were halfway into sleep.

Maybe Zuko couldn’t lightningbend, but maybe he had also lied. Because the shock that Sokka felt when their hands touched, and then they stared at each other for far too long once again. It all felt unreal. It all felt like it was a dream or that maybe Sokka was going to pass out or wake up or go and join Yue as another spirit.

He tried his best to keep the gasp that had threatened to get out of his mouth inside of himself. His cheeks felt hot, and they felt like they were turning pink at a dangerous speed.Zuko let go of his hand and cleared his throat. The moment was broken now, and maybe it was for the best. At least for now.

“You were good.” He said, looking back at Sokka after he had brought his eyes somewhere else.

Sokka wanted to reply something sarcastic. Perhaps a ‘ _ Always am _ ’ or a ‘ _ Getting jealous _ ’ line could’ve been enough and yet he only felt himself write a “Thank you.” with his words.

“I don’t think there’s much else I need to teach you. I mean- you already had the basics which helped but...” Zuko said, his tone sounded so so so genuine and Sokka melted, “I think you’re officially a master swordsman.” 

“Really?” Sokka said enthusiastically.

Zuko chuckled, “Definitely.”

* * *

Now they were at the lake. The water was cold, even if Sokka went everyday he still couldn’t get used to the temperature. But it didn’t really matter when they were two bodies swimming around each other, splashing water and laughing carelessly.

It didn’t take that much to convince Zuko to follow him to the lake. Somehow just a look and a ‘please’ had been enough for him to roll his eyes and accept the proposition. 

It was Sokka who had started with the water splashing. Zuko didn’t really get it at first but it had now evolved to a full on battle of who would make the biggest wave. 

“Lucky for you I’m not a waterbender because I would’ve ended you.” Sokka said in the middle of throwing a still kind of mind blowing quantity of water.

“Yea yea keep saying that.” Zuko laughed.

For how long would Sokka be able to keep it to himself though? Because the sound that his laugh made, his smile, the way that Zuko’s eyes could crackle when Sokka made a joke, all of that was making Sokka lose it. He wanted to drop his hand back on Zuko’s cheek and leave it there until someone would stop them. He wanted to jump into his arms and give his lips a kiss so that maybe the sounds of his laughs would stop and so Sokka could stop falling for them.

Only that would make him fall only harder. 

Now the splashes had stopped and the silence that was nature engulfed them. Only standing a few feet apart was already too close, yet so far. Sokka wanted to push himself into Zuko’s warmer touch. He wanted to so bad that he wondered if the starring had now taken place for far too long. 

He thought just then that maybe  this  moment right now was the one that would ruin everything. He wanted to give in. He wanted to do something was a little too bold but at the same time seemed way too reasonable. 

“You come here often?” Zuko asked, making Sokka focus on something else than the sound of moving water.

“That’s kind of where we wash ourselves so yeah, daily.” 

Zuko snorted, “I mean other than that.”

“Yeah.” Sokka breathed out, now staring down in the water, “I kinda come here to recollect myself at times.”

“That’s cool. I had a place like that back home.” Zuko pushed the water with his hands, lightly, “It was a pond, with turtleducks. I would always feed them bread, or just calm myself when I wasn’t seeing clear.” 

“What’s a turtleduck?” 

“It’s uh- like a small animal with a beak and a shell. It has yellow feathers and it floats.” Zuko tried to explain, but by the puzzled look on Sokka’s face it didn’t help picture anything. “I can show you one day. If you ever come to the fire nation.” He said, his hand on his neck.

“I’ll try my best to come and say hi.” Sokka gave a smirk, to which Zuko gave a small smile in return. It made Sokka’s whole body flush, “Do you ever miss them?”

“Yeah... after my mom left my dad decided to make the turtleducks leave too. He said I spent too much time with them anyway.” Zuko was now looking down.

His face lost its smile, and even if Sokka didn’t have anything to do with Ozai’s awful parenting, he felt his insides turn guilty. 

“Hey.” He swam closer to Zuko, noticing that the water around him was hotter, “I’m sorry.” Sokka said, his voice low. He brought his hand to Zuko’s left shoulder, looking at the gesture as he did so.

“It’s not your fault Sokka, it’s okay.” And after those words were said Zuko looked up again.

So close,  _so so so __close_. Sokka felt Zuko’s breath on his, mixing hot with cold. Eyes, mixing ice and fire as if it wasn’t only going to give water. Nothing made sense anymore yet- yet it felt like everything belonged once again. Sokka felt out of his body, out of everything. The water around them felt  hot , Sokka’s hand on Zuko’s bare skin felt even hotter. 

Sokka felt himself move closer, because it wasn’t enough already. He wanted to melt. He wanted to be so close to Zuko, to his mouth, to his whole chest. He wanted to kiss, to touch, to make sure that everything was real because it felt like it wasn’t.

His hand stayed, but himself felt like he was already diving on Zuko. 

“Sokka-“ And then he felt his senses coming back to him. Like a wave, he felt his hand on Zuko’s skin again. He felt the amber eyes on him, the hot air out of Zuko’s nose. He could all feel it and it suddenly felt like too much, so much he felt like drowning.

He pushed himself away, like one more second next to Zuko and he would burn. Because maybe he would. 

“Sorry I-“

“Maybe we should head back to the camp.”

“You’re right.”

* * *

They had tons of food and yet Sokka couldn’t find anything appetizing.

He was playing around with this meal as the thoughts of what had happened at the lake played in his mind over and over again. The rest of the day had been spent alone. Zuko said that he needed some time to do  whatever  and Sokka let him. It’s not like he was going to stick around Zuko all the time either. Even if he wanted to very badly. 

He could feel Katara’s worried eyes laid on him. He could also hear in his mind her saying that she’d hurt Zuko if he had been the one to put her brother in that state. Well then Sokka just had to keep his mouth shut. Unless it wasn’t really Zuko that he was sad about but more likely himself.

Because what if he had just kissed him at the lake? Right then and there, lips into lips, hands on the hips. It was probably the second time they almost kissed now. No- the second time  Sokka  almost kissed Zuko. The second time that time had stopped for Sokka to admire Zuko and think about how badly he wanted to do this.

As much as Sokka wanted him, wanted the  touch, the kiss and skin on skin, he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t brig himself to do it and why? Why was it so complicated anyways?

Now all he wanted to do was spend time with Zuko again. Maybe he could pretend nothing had happened like the last time they were -too- close? He could come in his room and ask to sleep with him like he had done a few times now. 

Or maybe he could try to bring up a conversation with him, since they were still sitting next to one another. However when Sokka turned his head Zuko was gone. It was now just him, Toph, Aang and Katara. Great, just like old times, when there was no crushing on Zuko and no confusion. Just good pals getting chased by a bunch of crazy firebenders and on their way to master whatever element Aang needed to master. 

“Thanks for the food by the way, it’s very good.” Sokka said, taking a bite of his rice, “So Aang how far are you into the whole mastering fire thing?” 

“Zuko said that I’m a fast learner, but that i’ll never be able to master firebending in time.” Aang said, setting down his bowl.

“What do you mean ‘ in time ’?” 

“I don’t know but I guess that just means I have to work twice as much.” Aang shrugged.

“Talking about being in time, we should really leave this place soon, or else there’s going to be a higher chance for the fire nation to find us.” Katara said, setting the leftovers in some plates.

Everyone turned to Sokka,  oh yeah , he was the plan guy after all. He had almost forgotten his purpose since all of his days were filled with practically two things, “Right. So I definitely think that we should be leaving in the next few days, maybe less than a week.” He said.

He liked this place though. It was probably his favourite so far. Of course, the fact that Zuko was there and not as an enemy certainly helped, but also because it was calm. He had less nightmares than usual, and the schedule was less tight. 

Then as soon as he thought about it, Sokka felt bad.  No. _Dad_. There’s still dad I need to save. He’s still out there maybe he-

“Okay fine, then in four days we’re leaving. Does that sound good?” Katara stripped Sokka out of his head.

He nodded, just assimilating what his sister had said, “Sounds great.” 

Or maybe it didn’t.

* * *

It was white, once again. So white it was almost blinding, except that Sokka couldn’t close his eyes. He was walking down a hallway that seemed to have no walls. He could’ve escaped. He could’ve taken a deep breath ad tell himself that everything was okay, everything was fine, and then walk out and hope for some colour. Except that he kept walking instead.

He didn’t have any thoughts. All he could do was walk with no apparent goal whatsoever. Sokka felt light. So light he coud float. Break through the white ceiling and hope for something blue. Except that he kept himself on ground.

Someone was standing. At the end of the hallway there was a familiar silhouette. Someone that somehow had been expecting him. 

Sokka ran. He knew who it was. He knew even thought he couldn’t see his face he knew that it was safe, warm, and that he’d be welcomed. 

He threw himself in his father’s arms. Sokka was sobbing, so was the older man. They hugged as if it was the last time they ever would, because maybe it was. But Sokka didn’t think about it. Sokka didn’t  want  to think about it. He instead enjoyed the smell of salt and sea, of home.

Dad.  "It's nice to see you again."

"You're late."

Sokka pulled away from the embrace. He went looking for a familiar face. His eyes dressed with panic. Blue looking for blue. Instead he met gray.

"It's too late Sokka." His dad said, facing him, "You're too late." His grip was strong on Sokka's shoulders. _For what?_

Words that he did not want to pronounce escaped his mouth, "I'm sorry dad." He cried. Hakoda still holding on his shoulders as if his life depended on it. 

"Not only me. You're late for her."  _Yue_.

"No." Sokka whispered. "No no no no no no no."

"You were late for her."  _Mom_.  "And her."  _Katara_. 

He was. There had been a clock that Sokka wasn't aware of, and no matter how hard he tried the clock always gained on him. Sokka was always late, the clock was always ticking.

"Sokka." It wasn't his dad who said that.

He turned around. Suddenly the pressure on his shoulders left. He got up. It wasn't white anymore. Dark. It was too dark to see anything.

"Sokka you promised."  
"I know- I know I did but please-" He begged.

"I trusted you Sokka, I did. What about the promise under the stars? You said you'd never leave me. We'll always have each other's back."

"We- we never said that." Sokka couldn't remember.

"Sokka." A hand cupped his cheek.

A mouth on his. And Sokka felt helpless. "I'm sorry Zuko I'm so sorry."  
"Shhh..." And Zuko sushed him.

He finally closed his eyes and he didn't know if he was asleep anymore.

* * *

He was staring at the high ceiling, his hands folded on his stomach. Sweat had dried off his arms and forehead. The cold breeze of the night brushing against his skin made him shiver, but it was too hot under the blanket, so he'd rather be cold.

He had so many thoughts, rushing and spinning all over his head, that it was hard to focus on one. He pressed his eyes shut, hoping that maybe he'd make them go away, or that he could drive back to sleep.

It didn't work, nothing worked. 

Sokka sighed and rolled over on his side. He faced the others who were sleeping peacefully. He envied them, the way they could so effortlessly close their eyes and then they'd be deep into their dreams. 

Dreams that were probably filled with pretty pinks ad yellows. Dreams that were probably so comforting that they just stayed into it. Sokka wanted those dreams. He wanted to so badly. 

He rolled on his back again, sighing loudly. He wanted dreams where he could breathe. He wanted dreams where he didn’t always have to run, to escape something that was bigger than him. He wanted dreams other than black and white and shades of gray. 

He wanted purple, blue, yellow, pink. Sokka wanted the rainbow.

And instead he got the thunder.

It started raining. The sound normally was enough to drift Sokka back to sleep, yet nothing. 

He remembered the promise he had made when he held on his father for the last time before he got taken away. He had told him- no, he had  _promised_ to see him again. He remembered holding on the blue shirt and smelling the sea before saying that he’ll be back.

That he’ll make him proud. 

And yet Sokka didn’t do any of that yet. All he had done was deceiving him over and over again.

Sokka had grew up with the mentality of being a man, of being a warrior. He had spent all of his life trying so hard to be the person his dad would be proud of and yet- yet all he could do was fail.

He was back on his side, this time his back facing everybody. Tears started dripping down his face, coordinating with the rain. He was holding on his blanket, knuckles turning white as he tried his best not to make any sound. 

His throat ached as well as his head. He was cold. He needed warmth. Yet whatever uncomfortable heat he had been feeling under the covers a few minutes ago was insufficient. 

All his life he taught himself not to cry, not to show much of emotions as you were a warrior. He never saw his dad cry either, except when his mom died. 

Then it stroke him again, the day his mom got taken away too.

He had tried to fight that day. He was so young, yet he had thought for the longest of times that he had sent them away. They left as quickly as they came and then Sokka believed he could go back to playing in the snow with Katara. He had believed that after that everything would be normal again and that he would go back home after playing and their mom would sing them a song as they drifted to sleep.

He had waited in the snow, until no one was coming. A hand on his small shoulder telling him to go home. 

When he went back there were too many people for him to enter. He was looking for Katara, for dad, for mom. He only found a small dot of Blue sitting in a pile of snow not too far from home. 

He approached at it was Katara crying. 

After she told him, he was the one crying too. 

And they hugged. They hugged until they both stopped crying and Katara showed him what she had been holding in her palm. Sokka tried his best not to cry again, because he realized how it was real.

He attached the necklace to her small neck and it was too big. But he didn’t say anything on it because it didn’t matter. Because nothing mattered. 

Then Sokka promised her that he’ll always keep her safe. Always. He’ll never fail either.

The sound of the rain brought him back. This wasn’t home anymore, they were far from it. He didn’t know when he’d be going back either. 

The tears had stopped, his face was now full of dried off tears and he felt sticky. There was no way he’d go back to sleep after this, even if suddenly his eyes felt heavy. 

He got up, and the air felt even colder than it used to. But it was whatever, he needed to clean his face at least.

He walked over to the fountain, at least he knew he could clean himself up over there and then head back to sleep. 

The cold water splashed on his face, clearing every trail of tear. It felt refreshing, cleansing. 

“Sokka?” He heard behind him.

The voice startled him a little, it was still the middle of the night, he didn’t expect to bump into someone at this hour. Even less at the fountain space. “Zuko?” He said before turning around and meeting golden eyes. “Can’t sleep either?” 

Zuko brought his hand behind his neck, “It’s the rain.” 

“Funny how the rain makes me want to sleep.” Sokka answered.

“So then why are you awake?” He took a step closer, Sokka’s heart tightened up in his chest.

“I-“ He took a deep breath, “I had a nightmare. Again.”

“Oh. Wanna talk about it?” Zuko asked. Did he? He felt annoying enough having these thoughts with himself, and he had already shared enough with Zuko. “No. I- I’d rather do something else.” Sokka answered. 

“Oh- okay then um we could just talk about something else?” 

_Or maybe we could kiss,_ “Like what?” 

“I don’t know.”

“Maybe we could spar?”

Zuko slapped his forehead gently, “Sokka, life isn’t about sparing.”

“Says the one who literally has two swords.” He joked. Maybe Zuko didn’t understand the joke because his puzzled expression as well as his ‘What?’ said enough. “You have two swords! That just means you’re twice as obsessed as I am!” Sokka said, throwing his hands in the air.

“That literally doesn’t have to do with anything.” Zuko rolled his eyes.

“Well sorry if I was trying to come up with something interesting to do.” Sokka threw.

Apparently it came off as rude, even tho he didn’t mean it that way. “Okay then sorry if I want to do something different that what we usually always do!” Zuko exclaimed.

“Are you saying that you don’t like sparing with me?” Sokka frowned

“No! I’m just saying that there’s other things in life than sparing.” Zuko sighed in response.

“Fuck you.” Sokka said under his breath.

Zuko raised his eyebrow, “Fuck you too.”

“Well fuck you for- for being a total  jerk  right now!” Sokka said loudly.

“Fuck you for always wanting to do the same thing over and over again!” Zuko replied.

“Okay then fuck you for making me like you!” Sokka screamed. Maybe it was due to the fact that he was extremely tired, but he was not planning on saying that. Not right now. Not ever. 

Sokka is expecting nothing, or better, a punch on the nose hoping that it’ll set him straight but instead he’s met with some warm lips crashing onto his.

He hesitates on what to do next. He decides to lean in the two hands cupping on both sides of his face, his lips melting with the other’s. He closes his eyes and his hands find their way to Zuko’s hips.

Somehow everything fell into place. It felt  right , like he just belonged to be on Zuko. Sokka wasn’t realizing what was happening yet, he just let himself press his mouth harder on Zuko’s and his arms closing tighter on him too.

He tasted exactly like what Sokka had expected, yet somehow more soft. Fire meeting with flowers and somehow they weren’t completely burnt themselves. He deepened the kiss.

Sokka liked it, the whole moment. Like the world had gave them the chance to do it and they had finally taken it, then in favour it stopped. And now the moon was hidden by the coulds and their only source of light was gone. Even tho he was sure that if he opened his eyes he’d find Zuko glowing.

Then reality caught up. And it hit him. He was kissing  Zuko. Well, Zuko had kissed him first but that didn’t change the fact that the firebender was in his arms like that. Sokka pulled away after what felt like forever of a kiss, “Shit. I- I mean.” He lost his words.

“W- was that bad?” Zuko said sheepishly.

“No! No- Zuko listen you- you were good. I just, didn’t think you’d ever like me back.” He said and then pulled away from Zuko, still not too far.

“Oh- wasn’t it kind of obvious?” He answered.

Obvious? Zuko? That was probably one of the best joke he had said ever since they became friends. Sokka let out a laugh, Zuko turned into a pout, “I didn’t even know you  liked  guys!” He exclaimed.

Zuko gave up his pout and settled for a neck rub instead, “Yea... maybe I should’ve told you about it.”

“It’s okay. I- I’m glad we still kissed.” Sokka answered, taking Zuko’s hands back in his and fixating on them, “Spirits that was cheesy.” He chuckled, “When did you... know?”

They were still standing up, and the rain around them was still pouring hard. Yet all Sokka could concentrate about was Zuko’s words, his mouth, his eyes, everything about him. “I actually kind of always knew in a way. I just didn’t want to admit it to myself yet.” Zuko started, and Sokka listened, “Then we met the dragons and they made me understand what love was really like, what it’s supposed to feel. That’s when I understood where I had to take my firebending from, and just- what I am.”

Sokka felt a tear on his hand. Zuko was crying. He normally would’ve panicked if it had been anyone else, because he was bad when handling crying people.

He brought Zuko’s head on his shoulder, feeling the hot breath brushing on his neck. His fingers found his hair and then Sokka was comforting him, stroking stripes of black hair gently.

“How did you knew?” Zuko asked, still in the crease of Sokka’s neck and shoulder.

He sighed to himself. It wasn’t as  extraordinary  as Zuko, or as brave. It had been really just... silly. Making lists and panicking to the moon, he decided to keep that for himself. Or at least for now. “I started uh... liking you. And then I was confused and I uhm- I don’t know I kinda just- figured it out. It’s not as cool as yours though.” 

Zuko let out a small laugh and went back to facing Sokka, his shoulder felt cold now. “It’s still pretty cool. You didn’t have to meet some  dragons  and fear for your life as you understood that you were gay.” 

“I’m- I’m not gay though.” Sokka said, his cheeks flushing. Zuko didn’t say anything else, just looked with questioned eyes, “I like both? I’m pretty sure. I mean I’ve liked both  guys  and  girls in the past so, yeah.” He said, his hand leaving Zuko’s hip to rub his own neck.

Zuko gave him a small kiss, making Sokka blush entirely. Even if they had just made out for what had been probably around ten minutes, Sokka couldn’t quite realize that he could just  kiss  Zuko and it wouldn’t be weird. And same thing for Zuko. He brought their foreheads together, his hand now resting on the back of Zuko’s neck.

“So there were other guys before me?” Zuko said, his tone mildly smiling.

“Well there was this Jet guy-“ Sokka began to say.

Zuko cut him at the mention of Jet, “Wait Jet?”

“Yeah...?” Sokka raised an eyebrow, looking directly at Zuko’s shocked expression.

“ Jet  as in like... tall, scrawny kinda.. uh, two sticks used for fighting?” 

It took a second for Sokka to take in the information, “H- how do you even know him?” 

“Oh uh,” Zuko blushed, looking down at his shoes, “We sort of uh. Dated. Back when I was in Ba Sing Se.” 

Dear Spirits. Sokka blinked, not only once, but twice, at the growing blush on Zuko’s cheek. Not only did he know Jet, but Zuko had also  dated  him. Well, the world was small indeed.

“Are you okay?” Zuko interrupted his thoughts.

“Uh- yeah I’m just surprised that’s all.” Sokka answered, he felt his ears becoming hot.

“What did you  also  date Jet?”

Sokka chuckled, “Yeah no, nothing happened. I still didn’t know back then- that I liked boys. And he was all over my sister anyways.” 

“Well I do see the cha-“ Zuko started to say before Sokka gave him a small punch in the arm, “Hey! What was that for?” Sokka shot him a glare, “Sokka I’m literally gay. And I like you. Like a lot.”

Sokka leaned in and they kissed again. This time not looking for anything, but like they had found what they’ve been searching. Sokka was still holding Zuko by the waist, and Zuko had his arms thrown over Sokka’s shoulders.

Then Sokka pulled away, linking their forehead together once again. He breathed, a smile drawing on his face, “Zuko.” He whispered.

“Mmmh?” 

“Promise me- you’ll have my back.” He said, his voice almost cracking, “Because I’ll always have yours Zuko. Always.”

Sokka waited, the silence felt like years on his shoulders. Tears were wetting his cheeks, but he hadn’t meant to. However he just let them darken his skin. 

Zuko whispered, “Sokka.” His eyes looked lost, yet they were trying to grip on something, reaching inside the blue. His hand dropped and held Sokka’s hands again. His grip tightened, Sokka held tight too, not wanting to lose something to fragile.

“I’ll always have your back. No matter what.” He finally said, before leaving another kiss on Sokka’s mouth.

Have my back and I’ll have yours.

Always. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lawd... we’re almost at the end OMG?? yes they kith mwah awesome i know super romantic whew gay ppl smh.
> 
> okay so sorry for the wait but as you could tell this was a looooong chapter so yes hihi chapter nine (and last one omg??) should be out next week or so probably in ten days like usual.
> 
> i still don’t know if i’ll make it sad or not i kind of had a plan when i first started writing and then it went elsewhere so idk if i’m going to end up doing it or not but eh we’ll see!!! it’s like every time i try to write angst it doesn’t work and it’s only fluff wow but yup maybe a future story perhaps?

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this chapter! I hope you liked it. The next one should be out in a week or so!! 
> 
> Don’t hesitate to leave a comment and a kudo!! It’s always appreciated.  
> You can also follow me on twitter for daily brainrot and updates in general: @zukkashipper 
> 
> Toodles!!


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